Hello from the People’s Republic of Boulder, the marijuana capital of the world :). Oh my GAWD is it hard to be a non-weed user!! I miss my oblivion. This DBT class I’m in requires me to stay sober, which is no fun at all. However! Objectively, I think the marijuana was making me more depressed. Fuck! I hate telling the truth.
I have been going to DBT class three times a week for five weeks now. I “think” I’m learning a lot. Not sure if I’ve changed in any measurable, positive way. Hmmm….that’s worth considering. HAVE I changed in any way? I know not.
I drive by the hospital where Dr. Sweetie works to go to DBT, so I always say “I love you, Dr. Sweetie!” as I pass by. On Fridays I go to that same hospital to have my blood taken (a requirement if you’re on Clozaril) and I always hope that I’ll run into Dr. Sweetie. I hope I do, and I hope I don’t :) So far, no dice.
I have gained EIGHT POUNDS since I’ve been on the Clozaril, so Dr. BigHeart is going to switch me to another medication. I had to make a list of all of the bipolar medications I’ve ever been on. The list includes: Geodon, Abilify, Lithium, Trileptal, Topamax, Latuda, Lamictal, Seroquel….I’m sure there’s more that I’m forgetting. The only thing that ever did shit for me was Topamax, however, Topamax and ECT do not play well together. Yes I’m still getting my zaps, as a matter of fact I’ll get zapped today! I think it’s helping…I don’t know. Still no real hope for the future. When does that come back? That, and my creativity is still absent. Oh how I miss it!
I think I told you that I’ve been using Lumosity (lumosity.com) to sharpen my mental faculties. Since I started, I’ve improved my scores by about 300%. I think that’s a really good site, take a look at it if you’re interested in improving your mental acuity.
Well I am off to DBT now, hope you all have a fantastical day and weekend!! Peace!