I just about PUKED on all the good will towards (wo)men and love and thanksgiving that was flowing all over social media today. C’mon people, where’s the hate? Where’s the bigotry? Hypocrisy? You actually gave it up for a day?
Well my family did NOT put the “fun” in dysfunction today. It was an ordeal to be endured and frankly I am not down with that shit. Why I didn’t bring some of the good shit with me is just beyond me. I am an asshole, I guess. My Dad, true to form, yelled his head off at my Aunt (my Mom’s sister) because he is five years old (not 82) and doesn’t want to share my Mom. I, being a mature adult, did not punch my Dad’s 82 year old face in, although it was definitely my first choice. Instead, since I am also a five year old, I packed up my toys and left with a dismissive “Bye Bitch” (really just Bye but I like the sound of Bye Bitch oh so much more). If you could only see what goes on inside me when my Dad yells, it’s like Satan lights the fires of hell in me and I want to scream and yell and hit something. Doing nothing like that is very unsatisfying. Instead, I drive home and proceed to turn it inward by getting stoned as hell. Solution! Shitty, addictive solution but I’m working with the tools at hand and that’s what I’ve got. I know, I know, I should stay away from the damn marijuana store. Those fuckers lure me in with all of their delicious edibles and their different strains, their indicas and sativas and cbd’s and cbn’s and pain patches. But all it does is get you stoned. Nothing fancy. I go back and forth with “am I going to be clean and sober” and “am I going to go ahead and be a real pothead”. Right now I am leaning towards pothead. But no drinking. Except for tomorrow night. Because I have a DATE! With a REAL BOY!!! Oh I say boy but hell he’s in his thirties. He and I like to drink and smoke pot and talk a blue streak and, uh, other things. You know. Play tinker toys. It’ll be fun.
I hope you had a satisfying day in some way. If you didn’t, don’t feel bad. It ain’t all rose-colored dildos out there. There’s a lot of trash. I had a bad day, so someone else didn’t have to. That’s the way I see it. Now for Christmas, I think I’m going to arrange to be gone. I better think of an elaborate lie, starting right now. Any ideas? Hope your day was peachy. Love, Bipolaronfire. FIRE!!!!!