The Sweet and Sour Chronicles, Volume I

Sweet and SourThis is what happens when you are in an intensive outpatient program (IOP) that has rigid rules and regulations, such as, if you miss three times, you will be discharged on the fourth.  When you are discharged, you have to start all over and fill out reams of paperwork again.  This will happen even if you have what would be considered in most circles to be an “excused” absence, such as Influenza A.

If you’d like to bring out the extreme sour in a sweet & sour girl, just go ahead and throw these stupid fucking rules at her and see how she responds.  She might (a) fill out the paperwork in gibberish;  (b) make up sexual orientations, such as bilateral;  (c) claim her barriers to healing to involve toe fungus; (d) be in general an asshole, resulting in being told to GROW UP!, at 46 years of age; or (e) All of the above.

I couldn’t help but to break out in loud guffaws every time I spied my paperwork last night during group therapy.  It wasn’t always at appropriate times.  I will need to make amends.  A few questions:  1.  Who the fuck filled that out? Was that actually ME?  And 2.  Who the fuck had to type it?  And how did they keep a straight face or keep from scrawling “Fuck you” across the page?  One will never know.

And that’s it for now, from the Sweet & Sour Chronicles.

14 thoughts on “The Sweet and Sour Chronicles, Volume I

  1. Someone brought up what someone else was doing, as in, “Does this bother the rest of the group?” to which I answered “Who the fuck cares?” and she was quite taken aback. “Hey I’m sweet and sour!” was my assholeish response 😛 I know but it’s true!

  2. I hate filling out paper work. I panic over it because it just brings to light what I try to bury deep down inside me… all my “problems” and I just want to crawl in a hole and die for a few days.

  3. This is fantastic.

    Bilateral..hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahaha

    I hate stupid arbitrary rules and people who refuse to bend them

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