Look what I found! I found SO MANY treasures that I haven’t laid eyes on in YEARS! I did something monumental today. This won’t sound monumental to many, but to some who have depression and procrastination all mixed in together, this will make perfect sense. I cleaned out my “scary” closet. You know that closet, that some people have, that commits assault on you when you open it? Yeah that one. Mine was full of shit and boxes that I’ve been lugging around for SEVEN YEARS without opening them. SEVEN YEARS!!! There’s something about this seven-year mark. I tell you, things are MOVING!! I don’t know what it is. It’s scary not knowing what it is. I don’t want it to go away!! A little bit of mojo is a great fucking relief after sleepwalking, let me tell you.
Some of what I think might be going on is that I have been punishing myself for losing a house before I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I always dreamed of owning a home and it was a dream come true to have one built. I was however extremely impulsive with money and, well, everything and one day, fed up with my job, I walked away from it. Literally packed up my desk and moved ‘er on, lil’ doggies. I had no idea that when my cashed in retirement money ran out, it would be very hard to find another job, and I eventually lost the house, which broke my heart. From that time on I lived in a series of cold, dark, depressing hovels until I moved into this house. Somehow this light-filled, lovely curvy home is helping to bring about healing.
I guess what I’m saying in my bass-ackwards way is that I’m grateful. Today I’m grateful. For today. Life is good. Whoa-ho. Thank you Lordy-Joe.