…And it continues!

So, I REALLY want to stop functioning.  Like, REALLY!!!!  I want to quit this job and say “Fuck the world”.  The only thing that keeps me from doing it, and I know this is pansy-ish (or is this what holds everyone together?) is that I don’t want to move!!!!  I really love where I live, it’s a somewhat posh house, very expensive rent, and no job=no house.  I can’t bullshit my way around and say “I’ll make the money some other way – I won’t.  It’s a lot of money.  God DAMN this fucking capitalism and all its little claws that keep you sucked in!  I swear to GOD I will throw it all out and buy me an RV and just drive around this fucking country!!!  But there again….I worry….without the moorings…the familiarity of home and family…will I be ok?   Or will I just be fucking myself over?  Oh dear Lord is this just the ranting of a crazy bipolar woman?  I don’t know.

14 thoughts on “…And it continues!

  1. I feel the same easy 1000%

    I want to quit and move!

    The only thing keeping me here is m my girlfriend

    We just signed another lease.
    She wants to wait until her youngest siblings graduate.(twins,freshman)
    But the sister just HAD to get pregnant..
    so now we’re stuck here.
    Bleh, I just want to move.

  2. can’t imagine doing this without a (AA reformed, ultra-diciplined) partner or a couple anchors. I know I’ve gone too far when they get sick of me. I’m there now, again. I have a lot of respect for you holding your own. Like, THAT IS AMAZING.

  3. I have the urge to cut & run every few years. I am trying to make it more of an orderly transition and less of a panicked “burn every bridge” kind of thing. You know, self-aware growth away from toxic shit rather than flailing away just because my hindbrain goes NOPE NOPE NOPE BAD NOPE MAKES ME SAD.

    Good luck with it.

  4. I’m constantly fighting that urge to say fuck it and not go to work because I need a mental health day. But then I’d get fired and lose my car and wouldn’t have anywhere to live, and really I have a good job. So I stay. I always want to run, but I’m also seriously lazy.

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