Acceptance, Volume II

Snow Acceptance

I seem to be continuing to struggle with acceptance.  I have an aversion to what IS.  I seem to prefer to flit off to never-never land and live in What I Would Like, What Might Be, What Could Be, or What Should Be.  I believe this may be impairing my ability to live in the NOW.  The Now is also equivalent to what IS.  Hmmm I am having a moment.  Here are some of the things that I am not accepting or acknowledging:  I do not accept snow in April.  I think it should be beautiful Spring weather.  I am pissed at the weather.  I do not accept that I have to have my taxes done in five days.  I so don’t accept it, that I haven’t done a thing.  And, I have not one tax return to do, but two!  This year’s, and last year’s.  I do not accept that there is not a pot of gold at the end of my rainbow.  I live in a fantasy land that at any moment, I am going to win the lottery or that I will come into some other form of cash windfall that will save me from my current situation, which is a job  I don’t like, and a lifestyle that I am having a hard time affording.

I don’t accept, I don’t accept, I don’t accept……’s hard to change my life when I’m so busy not accepting all this shit.  I was thinking last night, maybe I need to get a life plan.  Maybe I need to go over my finances, and get a budget.  Maybe I need to see what’s going in, what’s going out, and what can be set aside.  Ya see how these thoughts sneak in?  I know!  I don’t know where they come from.  Some wise ancestor is whispering to me…Listen!  Maybe you can make things better.  Taking a look at my finances would be an act of acceptance.

Today I will toy with the idea of acceptance.  What the hell.  I know what the lack of acceptance is getting me . . . a whole lotta struggle, and a whole lotta nothin’.  I’ll report back.

7 thoughts on “Acceptance, Volume II

  1. It’s kind of like adulthood is ruining all the fun of being an adult, isn’t it? I’m terrible with adult things – so bad that I’m 34 and in February I got car insurance for the first time on my own (not with my mom) and I had no idea how to do it – yet at the same time I’m also sick of living like a frat boy. I’m trying to learn to do adult things like making a budget and sticking to it, but it’s hard.

      • I wish I had answers for how to be an adult… but I don’t. I think finding what works for you is always best, of course. Gotta figure out your priorities and all that stuff. You will do it though! Try to stay positive. 🙂

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