I visited with my Mom & Dad on Sunday. Mom had a lot of questions about my mental illness, and about why I crashed so hard this winter. She wanted to know what precipitated my crash. She doesn’t know that I went into the mental hospital, but when I crashed, I went into the hospital for four days. I could have stayed longer, but my boss had come in from out of town to see me and I felt the need to go to work (stupid decision but I make a lot of those when it comes to my job). What’s so scary to me is that there really was nothing big that precipitated my crash. There are a lot of factors that led to it, but nothing big. I was being bullied and harassed by a manager at work. The seasons were changing and the switch to Daylight Savings had just begun. I broke my therapy light. Still, my inability to cope effectively scares me. This is why I feel the need to make some big changes in my life.
I know that most of the country does this 9-5 thing, but it REALLY doesn’t work for me. I need to find a way to support myself that doesn’t involve working in an office, because I REALLY hate it. Also, dark cold winters don’t work for me. I need to change the climate I live in, and I need to be able to get out during the days, not be shut up in some building all day, every day. I feel like such a little rebel to challenge the status quo in these ways. Can I somehow make life for me, rather than me working for The Man?