Let’s face it: Clowns are ugly. Why in the hell do they paint their faces up to be so ugly? It’s the only occupation I know where good looks might actually be a liability – I mean don’t you expect your clowns to be booger-butt-ugly? Also, they’re usually fat. The best clowns are fat. This is starting to seem like an ideal occupation!! I can really let myself go!! Forget all that expensive dental work! Let the shit fall out. I’m a CLOWN! Eat that second twinkie. Eat it fried in bacon. I’m a clown!! Too tired to wash your face? Don’t feel like brushing your chiclets? Not to worry. I’m a CLOWN!!!!
I take it back. I don’t HATE clowns!! I just have INTENSE CLOWN ENVY!