I’ve Always Hated Clowns


Let’s face it:  Clowns are ugly.  Why in the hell do they paint their faces up to be so ugly?  It’s the only occupation I know where good looks might actually be a liability – I mean don’t you expect your clowns to be booger-butt-ugly?  Also, they’re usually fat.  The best clowns are fat.  This is starting to seem like an ideal occupation!!  I can really let myself go!!  Forget all that expensive dental work!  Let the shit fall out.  I’m a CLOWN!  Eat that second twinkie.  Eat it fried in bacon.  I’m a clown!!  Too tired to wash your face?  Don’t feel like brushing your chiclets?  Not to worry.  I’m a CLOWN!!!!

I take it back.  I don’t HATE clowns!!  I just have INTENSE CLOWN ENVY!

4 thoughts on “I’ve Always Hated Clowns

  1. I am terrified of clowns. In fact, I had to scroll down immediately when I opened your blog because I couldn’t bear seeing the picture you have up there. We teach children not to talk to strangers, but then we expect them to laugh at the strangest human beings around.

    One of the creepiest things to ever happen to me was on the subway and a clown sat directly across from me and started hitting on me. I couldn’t get off that train fast enough.

  2. Ewwwww that is the creepiest story EVER and that makes me turn back to HATING clowns!!!!!! OK everybody I’ve moved away from Clown Envy and back to Clown Hate!!!!! Sorry dear Bradley. And thanks for reading 🙂

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