What an amazingly full weekend. I was thinking yesterday, as I did all the usual Saturday chores like laundry (including folding and putting away, a big deal for me) and grocery shopping, and then making dinner, from scratch, this is really high functioning for me! It used to be that I’d joke about doing “survival laundry”, just enough to get by, like, wash enough underwear for the week, and a few outfits, but otherwise all the clothes were strewn about my room, all over the furniture and DEFINITELY all over the floor. Slob? Maybe. Depressed? DEFINITELY. It is absolutely fucking amazing to me what being on the right drugs can do. It’s just the difference between functioning and not functioning!! I mean, seriously!! Laundry! Going to the grocery store! These are monumental tasks when I am depressed. For one, I can’t get any get-up-and-go, any motivation, to start the task of laundry. For two, I can’t complete it. Grocery shopping? I ABHOR going out in public when I don’t feel good. I just don’t want to do it!! It makes my skin crawl. Now? Ain’t no thang. THANK YOU, DR. DRUGS!!!!!!!!! I’m grateful. For all of you who are struggling, half-functioning, or not functioning, take a couple of things away from this: a) You’re not lazy. b) You’re probably not on the right “cocktail” and c) There is hope for you! Keep trying, even if it takes all you’ve got, keep trying to get help.
I might not be 100% out of the woods or 100% happy but I AM 100% grateful to be doing so much better. And relieved like you wouldn’t believe. It’s been a rough patch. It’s good to be coming out the other side. And I’ll see YOU on the other side….of Monday. Peaches! To yer Mama!