Devil Dust Status and Creative Clonks

The Devil Dust continues to fall.  At this rate, we might see Spring by the beginning of Summer.  I mean, gol dang!  This is ridonculous.

I am in a creative clonk.  The gears are grinding.  It’s because I’m trying to come up with something to sell on etsy and I want it to be unique.  This is going to be the end of me if all of my creativity revolves around etsy and what I can sell.  I am so invested right now in getting out of my corporate job and I have my hopes pinned on etsy, having no idea if it’s even a viable idea.  I need to get my etsy show on the road so I can see what it can do, if anything.  I am working on creating stock for the store right now.

I am surfing on a little bit of stress:  I haven’t yet requested time off for a family vacation on the first of June, because I know I won’t have the vacation time for it, but I’ve already paid for the vacation and am very highly invested in going on the vacation, as is the rest of the family.  It is a visit to the family’s ancestral home roots in New Orleans and Lafayette, Louisiana.

I am also surfing on top of the stress of the fact that I haven’t filed my taxes, for the second year in a row.

I think that surfing stress is an avoidance behavior that is characteristic of ADD, but it is also a behavior I associate with not having enough positives on my horizon.  I don’t have positive things to look forward to, so I put these things in that spot where the positives would go in that forward vision.  Take those out of the forward vision, what goes there?  A big giant crash.

Wow, big insights as I write this.  I don’t know if it will help anyone else or if I just sound like I’m ranting but to me there is some value to actually speaking, or writing, these words down and making them real and acknowledging them in front of others.  I am a bit overwhelmed by what I’ve just discovered here, I think I’ll go take a bath.  Bipolar on Fire over and out!  Peaches to yer Papa!!

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