The purge has begun. See? I said I’d see you on the other side of some action. Well, it took me awhile!! I’ve been stuck in the super-blands and it hasn’t been productive. Something in Dr. Drugs’ changes must be kickin’ me up a notch because I’m still in the blands, but I’m so bored that I’ve been spurned to action. Action! This is good. So. I did some world-class purging today, in several areas of the house, and I feel that I am open to more. I feel like the items I’m purging have attachments to things I’ve been beating myself up about, I don’t know if that makes sense? They remind me of things that make me feel bad. Why keep THAT shit around?
I have forced myself to throw shit away that my whining brain says “but maybe that has some value left in it!” but I would feel like a damn fool taking a ripped up falling apart dress to Salvation Army, why bother taking it there and making THEM throw it out? I swear. I drive myself crazy.
I also am admitting that I’m not interested in sewing any more. I used to sew like crazy. Well, I haven’t in years. I’ve carried around these two giant tubs of fabric, thinking that I would use them. Well guess what. It’s been years and I haven’t used them. Why not let someone else use them and enjoy them? I am donating the cotton to a club that makes quilts for sick kids, and I put the rest on Craigslist.
I need to free myself up from who I think I should be based on who I was, so that I can be who I am meant to be now. I’ve been so unconsciously closed off, clutching to these moldy old possessions like they define me. They own ME and I don’t really like what they say about me. It’s like an old lady set in her ways. I don’t want that to be me. So I am letting go of the unused, unloved and unneeded. Feels cosmic. Feels great.