Two weeks ago I saw Dr. Drugs and he made one little change in my medication regimen. I was still deadly bland after a week, so last week he turned up the gas and gave me a list of five changes to make – decreasing a med here, increasing here, stopping this, adding that. Well, the little wheels and cogs are starting to turn again at long last and the ACTION lever has once again been tripped, so that I can actually move! These fucking brain chemicals, neurotransmitters, enzymes, neural pathways, whatever the hell! are amazing and soooo complex!! This chemistry experiment here in my body is finally starting to respond. (Slow clap for Dr. Drugs, and it’s about damn time!) How does this happen? And how does it go so wrong? I am looking forward to getting back to life, wouldn’t that be nice?
So actually maybe I HAVE gotten back to life, somewhat, as I actually had a pretty active day yesterday, getting out and about and doing some things, mani/pedi, taking myself out to lunch, making a fabric donation and hitting the library. This was quite the outing for me. This morning I got out and harvested a huge garbage bag of weeds from my garden, they are growing so well! I am very proud. After a serious painkiller and a bath, I hobbled out for a family birthday lunch which was absolutely lovely. This afternoon I have been spending some quality time with my beautiful green water pipe and soon I will start the Sunday tradition of laundry. Goodie! Ah hell, it’s life. I am feeling inspired to do some coloring too. Mindless childlike activity. I takes me somewhere. Maybe I’ll do that as the washer whirs and I listen to my next door neighbor play jazz piano. Not too bad for a Sunday afternoon. I think I will keep up the “Thank you” chant.