Well I had my ECT consult today. It was…interesting. The doctor sort of pointed out that I’ve been on *most* of the bipolar drugs that are out there. He said that the remission rate (recovery from depression/mood disorder symptoms) for medication is a lousy 30%, whereas for ECT the remission rate is 70%!!!! If someone were to take just one medication, and it failed, and then they had ECT, their remission rate would be 90-95%. YOWSA!! There’s also a Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation Therapy that can be used for less severe depression, it’s like ECT-Lite. I’m not a candidate for that. The doctor said that the results with ECT are almost immediate, and dramatic. The most important thing is that the patient remain committed to the three treatments per week for three weeks, and not stop after a few treatments because they feel better, because the symptoms might come back even worse. It’s a HUGE commitment to make, basically a month off of work, and no driving for that time, and someone needs to stay with you, or you need to stay with someone.
One of my best friends, who was actually my roommate in the loony bin last year, said she would come from Florida to stay with me. Now is that a DAMN GOOD FRIEND or what???? So that variable has been worked out. Now I just have to deal with finding a place to live and moving. Otherwise I would probably just start right now. I do have huge concerns about the time off work, and really, how much is my work going to put up with before they say “The HELL with her!” and give me the boot? I don’t know. I’ve been on reduced hours, now I’m working three days per week at home which is VERY much against their wishes…..they don’t see me at all like a cancer patient who needs treatment. I think they see me like a spoiled brat who’s trying to see how much she can get away with. The only thing I can counter with is that somehow through all my shit and shinola I am still performing at work. I am tapdancing and doing little balletic plies and then spinning on my head….and then kaboom!! I jump down into the splits and a fart bursts out.
I guess for now I will just keep putting one foot in front of the other, investigating other options, talking to Dr. Drugs again tomorrow, and go from there. I’ll keep y’all posted on the ECT question. It’s funny, for all of the severe bipolar out there and all the blogs I read, there’s not much brain frying going on. Why is that? I know there’s plenty of suffering. Maybe getting my bacon sizzled will help someone else, I don’t know. BPOF over and out!