Today I had the ECT consult at Boulder Community Hospital. It was a marathon appointment lasting three hours. My oldest sister came with me as they like family members to attend. The psychiatrist took a full history and I’m sure I shocked the shit out of my sister with my lively history of drug and alcohol abuse going back to my teen years. She is clean as the driven snow. I shed many a tear speaking of my crushing depression and suicidal ideation I have been experiencing, as well as how hard it has been to try to function in my job. I feel like I have lost about thirty IQ points. The doctor explained that there is a loss of cognitive functioning with severe depression. This was comforting to me as I wondered why I have been doing so many extremerifically stupid things. This explains it.
The treatment protocol for this hospital is more intense than the other one I was considering. It is four weeks of three treatments per week, then one week of two treatments, then a week of one treatment, then it goes to more staggered treatments. I’m looking at two months off of work. Right now my work only knows that I’m gone for a month. (Yikes). That’s all I can deal with right now. Also, I will spend the first two weeks of treatment in the hospital. I’m REALLY not excited about checking back into the loonie bin, but I’m trying to focus on the positives, like, being allowed to scream whenever I want, and no one caring if I pee my pants.
Well I’ve got one more day of work left, and I’m hoping I don’t get fired tomorrow. I just found out tonight that the HR department didn’t notify my boss that I was going out on FMLA next week, so it was up to me to tell him, today, that tomorrow is my last day at work, and then I’m gone for a month. So hopefully they don’t can me tomorrow. That would really negatively affect all of these carefully made plans. If I come back tomorrow and post pure cuss words, you’ll know the worst has happened. I’ll be back soon to tell you of my latest ECT plans…until then…Peach Out Homies!