I am working hard on my Lumosity games and slowly improving a little bit every day. I have been severely cognitively impaired by the sixteen (yes sixteen!!) ECT treatments I have had for my bipolar depression, treatments which have not really had any positive effect. What a fucking disappointment. I’ve basically rearranged my whole life to do this, and to no avail. Now I’m just trying to recover from the ECT. I am questioning whether I should have another treatment this coming Monday (I have one scheduled). I have a call in to my sister to discuss this. I am making slow progress in cognitive functioning (speed, memory, attention, flexibility, problem solving) and I don’t want to go backwards on this. I feel like I have a hell of a long way to go to be ready to drive, and an even longer way to go to be ready to go back to work, and not much time to get there. I’m pretty sure Dr. Sweetie would recommend that I have that treatment, but I don’t know think that he would agree that they’re not helping. Kind of a big point to not agree on. I am mighty scared about my prognosis, I don’t think it looks good for me. I think it’s time to start considering a brain transplant. I mean, what are my other options?
Update: I spoke with my sister and she agrees that there’s no reason to do any more ECT since I don’t feel that it has helped at all. The idea of not seeing Dr. Sweetie again is sooooooo sad to me. Seriously, you don’t realize what a delicious hunk of man he is! HE was the only therapy I was getting from going to that hospital. God damn it! I am down. Oh Dr. Sweetie! You are working a serious hotness!!!!!! Fuck. How am I going to get through this day? My sister suggested that I call my OTHER psychiatrist, Dr. Drugs, so we can rework my medication regimen. I am having a hard time finding the willingness to do this right now. DAMN it! Ok I’m gonna do it. I have to do something. Consider the call made.