I have been staying with one of my sisters since I got out of the hospital on Thursday, but today I’m going to try going home. Not sure how it’ll feel to be alone again . . . I hope hope hope that my suicidal ideation does not return. The isolation is a trigger, I think. I have to push myself to get out.
Tomorrow I go for a check-in appointment with Dr. BigHeart. I will fast because we may or may not do a treatment tomorrow, depending on how he thinks I’m doing. Do I need another treatment? I don’t know. I feel like I’m in a state of suspended animation. I don’t really know how I’m doing. I know I need to pay my bills today, that can be taxing on my psyche, since I don’t really know how much more money I will get from Short Term Disability, and I’m not sure that I have a job to go back to. Maybe I’ll find out tomorrow after Dr. BigHeart writes a letter clearing me to return to work.
I have the Olympics on the tv…pretty inspiring! How is your Sunday going?
UPDATE: I’M HOME!!!!!! What a feeling to come home. I’m going to keep busy with unpacking all of my crap I have (lots & lots) and maybe do some laundry. That feels like home, doing laundry 🙂 I also have the Olympics on the tv to keep me company, Comcast has an Olympics channel. Sweet!!!