“Hey I Heard You Lost Your Job! So Sorry….”

I know I mentioned last week that I lost my job. This is the job that I HATED and I’ve been off from since December, on Disability for “Treatment-Resistant Bipolar Disorder”. Dear old Dr. BigHeart wrote the latest update letter to my employer saying that I was completely unable to work for at least A YEAR and that was what clinched it: My employer said they could no longer hold my job open. Overall I feel tremendously relieved that I don’t ever have to go back to that job. I do have some mild anxiety regarding my Disability, which is private Disability through the employer’s insurance company. It shouldn’t be affected by my termination, but I imagine that they’ll do whatever they can to bump me off of Disability.

I’ll tell you what I don’t love: My family talking behind my back about this. I received a text this morning from my sister-in-law stating that she heard the news of my job loss from my oldest sister. Now what the fuck is my oldest sister doing talking about my business? It seems that ever since this latest “breakdown” or whatever you’d call it, my family likes to talk about me and treat me as if I’m not competent at running my life. It just completely IRKS me to think of them discussing my personal business, and even more so to think of them PITYING me!! AHHHHHHHH!!!! Time to engage some DBT skills to deal with these intense emotions ;).

How do you deal with your family infantilizing you?

14 thoughts on ““Hey I Heard You Lost Your Job! So Sorry….”

  1. How do you deal with it? You really don’t do anything. There’s nothing you can say or do that will change what they’re doing. Well, obvious and dramatic improvement will change things.

    I’ve the same issue. My wife treated me this way for quite some time. She was “protecting” me. I hated it too. I finally got her to stop and suddenly, I’m hit with the full force of reality and couldn’t handle it.

  2. At some point in time, you grow enough and build your self worth up enough that a) you don’t get them the chance to do it (avoidance) or b) you call them out on it. You are going through a really rough transitional period and I wish I had more advice when I was going through the working to disabled transition from people who have been there. It does get better. The infantilizing, their constant “concern and worry.” It will fade. Right now, I am sure they are concerned about how you are surviving day to do, since things are so much different now. Maybe if you could give them some positive examples as to how you are leading your life, they wouldn’t worry so much.;

    • I do give them positive examples of what I’m doing. I kind of feel like I’m putting on a Dog and Pony Show. But I need to acknowledge that unfortunately I put them through hell with my near-suicide. So this is where we’re at.

      • I totally understand. After my last near-suicide attempt, my mom took away every single bottle of medication in my house, including things like tylenol and immodium. She just wasn’t taking that chance. She would also check on me periodically during the day and for about six months, I was never allowed to be alone, as in, someone was ALWAYS with me. It took over a year for her to decide I was probably not going to kill myself. This stuff is hard on us, but it’s hell on our families, too.

      • The guilt IS killer, but it eases in time. You’re not too far removed from your last episode and hopefully you will go a long way before your next one. Keep up that tapping and maybe look into DBT.

  3. I’m sorry this has happened to you. I come from a family that rarely communicates so this wouldn’t be an issue. It’s not that we don’t get along – we just are bad at stayng in touch. It is sad to me sometimes and then I hear stories like yours and I think maybe it’s a good thing. I agree with Myjourney that I’m not sure there’s anything you can do.

  4. I’ve been in the same situation. After a suicide attempt, no pills allowed and painkillers were rationed. My dad won’t let me go to work because I can’t hold down a job and I’ve heard him telling family about my mood swings so it really pisses me off. I don’t really know a way to manage it tbh.

  5. love it… hate it when my fam starts coddling me like a two year old.. makes me want to manage better that much harder… but my crazy days give me content haha. have a good one.

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