Good Bye and Fuck You, Clozaril!


Well I had a Sizzle (ECT) last Friday and I told Dr. BigHeart that I absolutely had to go off the Clozaril.  In addition to it being the world’s biggest pain in the ass to be on, (having to get blood drawn every single week, chasing after the lab to fax it to the pharmacy, picking up one week’s worth of pills every week), I also couldn’t stop gaining weight due to the pot-like munchies.  Dr. BigHeart agreed to let me taper off.  So I’m on a half-dose this week, then after that, finito!  I’ve been a bit stuck in the mud this week, watching kind of a lot of shit tv and beating myself up for it.  But tonight I have a DBT Group get-together at my house again (I think, I’ve been texting everyone and haven’t heard back except for one sorry) so I have to move around and spruce up the house today, and go to Trader Joe’s and pick up some snickety-snacks, because I AM the Hostess with the Mostest!  I also need to get to the Library because I am out of reading material.  So yeah, I have to leave the house and do things.

I went to Grill Night at this beautiful country nine-hole golf course last night called Haystack.  Grill Night means they cook up a bunch of yummy shit on the grill and have live music, it’s a really fun summery thing to do.  This is a picture, that’s Haystack Mountain.  Isn’t it beautiful?  You could smell the flowers from inside, it’s pure heaven.  Hey, here’s an idea!  ENJOY THE DAY.  Yeah.


8 thoughts on “Good Bye and Fuck You, Clozaril!

  1. Sorry to hear about the med problems. That sounds like the worst drug ever. I’m curious about ECT. My mother-in-law had it last summer and I’ve never been comfortable asking about it. What’s it like?

    • You basically get hooked up to an IV, rolled in to a room, talk to the doctor, the anesthesiologist does his thing and the next thing you know, you’re in recovery. They have the option of placing the electrodes either bilaterially (on both sides of your head) or unilaterially (both electrodes on one side of the head). There are wayyyyyyy less side effects, both cognitively and memory-loss-wise, if they do it unilaterally. I’ve had both. The bilateral method really fucked me up. I’m doing unilateral now.

      • It’s INCREDIBLY effective. Yes it does require maintenance treatments. It’s very individual. It requires a major commitment. In the beginning it’s three treatments per week, I think for four weeks. During this time you cannot operate a motor vehicle and you have to kind of have someone babysit you. I live alone, so I had to go stay with family members. It’s VERY intense. But when you’re out of options, consider this as an option 😀

  2. Let me start by saying yet again here’s another of my all-time favorite blog post titles. LOVE IT! I love how you call ECT “Sizzlle” – that’s absolutely hilarious! (You know I’ve had many a “sizzle” myself, and thank God they helped!) You are Mademoiselle Social Butterfly with these DBT gatherings – I am so impressed with you! If I lived near you I’d crash one despite the fact that I don’t do DBT – I could be your maid!!! :))))) have fun tonight! Love the picture too! smooches! xoxox your big fan, DyDy

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