Well my mood has crashed and burned BIG TIME!!!!! Low, low, low, can barely stop crying….it sucks. I texted Dr. BigHeart and he said I have to go back on the fucking Clozaril and if it doesn’t perk me back up I might have to check in to the hospital for a few days. My response? “Fuck!!!!!” I only had half a tablet of Clozaril on hand and I can’t get more without bloodwork so I texted Dr. BigHeart again and he asked me to come to the hospital at 7:30 am on Monday for a zap, they’ll draw the blood for me so I can get the prescription and get back on the Weight Gain Highway. This is all so disheartening, I can’t even tell you.
Today I am driving my parents out of town for my niece’s 8th birthday party, so that will be a good distraction. Hopefully I can hold my shit together. I’ll stay with my parents tonight and they’ll drive me to the hospital tomorrow morning for ECT. Ah, the life of a Bipolar. It just keeps getting BETTER and BETTER!