Hello And Fuck You, Clozaril!

Well my mood has crashed and burned BIG TIME!!!!!  Low, low, low, can barely stop crying….it sucks.  I texted Dr. BigHeart and he said I have to go back on the fucking Clozaril and if it doesn’t perk me back up I might have to check in to the hospital for a few days.  My response?  “Fuck!!!!!”  I only had half a tablet of Clozaril on hand and I can’t get more without bloodwork so I texted Dr. BigHeart again and he asked me to come to the hospital at 7:30 am on Monday for a zap, they’ll draw the blood for me so I can get the prescription and get back on the Weight Gain Highway.  This is all so disheartening, I can’t even tell you.

Today I am driving my parents out of town for my niece’s 8th birthday party, so that will be a good distraction.  Hopefully I can hold my shit together.  I’ll stay with my parents tonight and they’ll drive me to the hospital tomorrow morning for ECT.  Ah, the life of a Bipolar.  It just keeps getting BETTER and BETTER!

5 thoughts on “Hello And Fuck You, Clozaril!

  1. Hang in there. Things will certainly get better. Ask yourself if this is the worse time you have dealt with. Most likely you have been through worse, so if you think about the worse time you have had with your Bipolar symptoms it might help you realize you will get through this time. That is what I do to try and weather the storm.

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