Rethinking ECT

I had an unfortunate meeting with Dr. BigHeart last week. So much so that I am rethinking his name, thinking that maybe “Dr. Ka-ching!” may be more appropriate. Whereas I used to believe he had my best interests in mind, I am now questioning if it’s all about keeping me coming back for more and more ECT. He actually said that it was a feasible and rational idea that I might have to do ECT every week for the rest of my life!!!!!! This about made me fall out of the bed, then he continued to tell me that I will NEVER go back to my “Professional” life and that this is as good as it gets. If I accepted what he said, I would have been devastated. However, I believe that he is one hundred percent full of shit, and I don’t believe I want to be receiving care from someone who holds out so little hope for me. It HAS to get better than this!!! The depression HAS to lift!!! I MUST have hope of going back to work some day!!! Granted, I do not want to go back to work in the IT field, I am totally burned out on it. But there has to be SOMETHING I can do!! I have a fucking college degree! I’m trainable!! I’m not ready for lifetime disability!!! That just sounds too much like giving up. And I REFUSE to give up! I am going to keep doing this fucking meditation and keep doing this goddamn yoga and keep doing this daily exercise and I’M GOING TO GET BETTER!!!!!! Just watch me.

15 thoughts on “Rethinking ECT

  1. YOU WILL GET BETTER!!!!!!!! He’s totally full of shit!!!!!!!!!! Even crazyass Carrie Fisher gets less maintenance ECT than what Dr. Satan suggested. He needs weekly shock treatments honey, no, make that daily!!! He’s unethical and dangerous – a hope murderer! You will work again, you will get through this!!!!!!!

  2. I know someone very close to me who had a burn out and worker in IT as well – she is now no longer depressed and works mainly with dogs, even has her own business. ECT is quite a heavy therapy to choose – have a you sought out a second opinion? There’s got to be a better way to help you through this. You will get better – never lose faith and dont let any doctor convince you that your mental health is a lost cause. I wish you all the best on your journey!

  3. you are going to definitely get better. No other option. I am here for you, sweetie. You are not alone in this journey. Please know that. Praying and sending loving-healing thoughts your way. I believe your body knows exactly what you need. You will get there. Love you!

  4. It will get better. I have adjustment disorder with mild depression and I refuse ECT or meds. I do take supplements though 🙂

  5. You will get better!!! I will be honest, ECT every week for the REST of your life sounds really messed up. It doesn’t sound safe at all. I know people that have had ECT and it is always slowly decreased to just maintenance ECT with medication… even if they are not 100% depression free. Continual ECT really does mess up the brain, even though it is 100% safer than it used to be, continually doing for long periods of time (like every week for the rest of your life) is absolutely not safe.

    Look into using your states vocational rehab program also if you want to get into the work force. They help people with physical and mental disabilities get jobs – college degree no college degree whatever. If you have a mental illness they will help. They will find a job that is appropriate with your skill level and add some training if needed, help with accommodations etc. Sometimes, depending on the state, they can set you up with extra therapy and stuff while you are in the program with them working for the job to help balance out the stress and figure out what you need work on to help with the mental illness to be stabilized.

    Keep fighting and don’t listen to that stupid doctor!

  6. He sounds like an arse. Good riddance if you ask me. Get angry!! How dare he have so little faith in you. Take that anger and let it fuel you. Let it steel your determination and sheer force of will to SHOW HIM how wrong he is. And curse him for stealing your hope. That’s unacceptable! This is not the end of the road. It’s the beginning of a new one 🙂

    • Thank you so much!!!!!! I am even MORE motivated to do all of the things that I think are helping heal my depression (mediation, yoga, exercise, supplements, etc). Oh. And FOOTBALL!!! Yeah Broncos!!! 😛

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