The Growth Opportunities Continue!

My growing experience is continuing. Yay! I love it when things don’t go as planned. I drove to hell and back to get a physical a few days ago to clear me for ECT, (I am overdue for a treatment), and the place ended up being a scuzzy Urgent Care center but they said they take primary care appointments too. Filled out the piles of paperwork, including my social security number (so they can steal my identity), waited a half hour to see the doctor. She walks in, says “What are you looking for?” and I tell her what I told them when I made the appointment, I need a physical to clear me for ECT. Her response? “Nope. Can’t do it. I don’t approve of ECT. I don’t do ECT, I don’t do abortions, and I don’t do heart surgery.” What the FUCK? I wasn’t asking for her approval, I wasn’t asking for an abortion, and exactly who is she to play God with my life-saving treatment? So, half a day wasted. Ohhh it pissed me off!! I went to my insurance company site and wrote that fucking doctor her first review and it was glowing like nuclear waste.

So, back to the drawing board. A new physical scheduled for this coming Tuesday. Again I made it clear that I need the clearance for ECT. At this point, after going almost seven weeks without a treatment, I’m wondering, do I need to continue with ECT? I mean, I feel ok. My mind feels like it has sharpened up. My memory is better, the steel trap mechanism is coming back into place. Part of me thinks that ECT is just a grand money-making scheme for mental health providers, and it’s in THEIR best interests to keep me coming back. So, I don’t know. I really don’t. I will go ahead with the physical and try to get everything in place, so that if I have a sinking spell, I will have ECT as an option. It sure beats being hospitalized.

I’m still looking for a place to live. I have an appointment to look at a furnished studio today for a fucking shitload of money. But, I am keeping an open mind and hoping to negotiate if it’s something I want. I also placed an ad on Craigslist looking for a room to rent, but so far the responses have all been from men. This one pretty much sums it up: “I’m  5’10” white male i have my teeth, a job and a pickup truck  I’m a housebroken pet lover w a indoor/ semi outdoor cat, nonsmoker, like to grill, boat , the rays, packers, gardening, fishing, fires, a good woman and more and not necessarily in that  order.” Yeah. Let me say that in no way does my ad say that I am looking for a boyfriend or anything of the sort! What a caveman. Florida seems to have an abundance of them.

Last week I actually went and got my Florida driver’s license, because the fucking pharmacy (I know the word “fuck” is featured front and center in this post but dammit I love the word, work with me people) won’t give me my controlled substances without a Florida ID. There was a pond outside the driver’s license office and when leaving I saw a group of people looking into the water. I walked up to see what they were looking at and it was an ALLIGATOR!! One toothless guy (ok he was missing his front teeth) was smoking a cigarette and walking close to the edge of the water. “Damn it I want that ‘gator so fuckin’ bad!” (say it in a redneck accent). I don’t know what he’d do with that fuckin’ gator but it was another Florida novelty to enjoy.

Well all my WordPress friends, I hope you enjoy a stellar weekend. Have a drink. Smoke a joint. Have some sex! Eat a chocolate Santa. I will be doing none of the above, but I can fantasize can’t I? Peach out homies!!!

13 thoughts on “The Growth Opportunities Continue!

  1. Don’t worry. “Fuck” is my FAVORITE word! That person needs to switch fields. Doctors – their job – is to do what’s best for the patient, regardless of their moral tenets – that’s their business. Good for you, for writing a radioactive review! I know 6 people, besides myself, who had ECT. Did nothing to alleviate depressive symptoms and totally fucked (see?) my short-term memory – long term. Aside from the blanks you experience during treatment. Two women had been in and out of relationships during therapy and had no recollection of what had happened during that time. I had no recollection of a birthday party friends gave me, despite showing me photographs. Nor do I have any recollection of going to presentation by a psychiatrist on mental health with 2 other friends, until one of them referenced it later. Memories gone forever. But I met one guy who said it was the only thing that helped. He traveled 300 miles from rural Maryland to get treatments. When I asked him about the effect it had on his memory, he said it was worth the price.

  2. Oh my Holy Lord – this was one of your funniest ones (although I know your agony over incompetent assholes from hell is not funny! I’m so sorry!!!!!!!)

    First brilliant line is : ” I went to my insurance company site and wrote that fucking doctor her first review and it was glowing like nuclear waste.”

    I got SO MAD at that evil doctor you saw – how dare that freak pass moral judgement! I cannot believe she actually said any of that shit. I’ve had to do the same thing, i.e. get the physical for ECT – I drove an hour to Monterey to get my physical, and if the doctor said no to me in the same way the freak did, I would have started farting and spitting and screaming MY favorite word, which just happens to be FUCK!

    If you have that “doctor”‘s contact info. I would LOVE to fuck with her!!!!!!! Here’s what I’d do – I’d call her office and make an appointment with her staff. In my Academy-Award-winnng way, I’d pretend to be the personal assistant for a big-time celebrity, say BRAD PITT! Or whoever you want! BRADLEY COOPER – oh yeah!

    I’d say softly…secretly….”Why hello., I’m calling to schedule a physical on behalf of my boss…uh, this needs to be strictly confidential but he’s in the area shooting an ALLIGATOR MOVIE and the production company requires that he get a physical. He’s in the top shape of his life, so it shouldn’t take long. We heard GLOWING things about “Doctor Assholefuckingbitchfreak”! Can I schedule an appointment?”

    There, I feel better! Give me the # and I’ll do it, too! I love making prank calls!

    The part about the Craigslist caveman – ha ha ha ha! I bet you’ll have lots more of them before the day is through and they all go off to start at gators!

    Speaking of which, the part you wrote about the guy wistfully gazing at the fucking gator????? Priceless!!!!

    Love you, oh Fiesty One!
    xxoo Lady Dy, who has all her teeth even though they’re icky yellow from copious amounts of coffee! I don’t have the $ for the nuclear whitening treatment or whatever it is!

    p.s. how was the furnished studio?

    • Oh my friend DyDy!! ALWAYS so wonderful to hear from you!!!! The shithead doctor’s name is DR. CHERYL JONES, and the number is 813-831-7722. Oooh I have to go give her a review on Google too!! This woman does NOT know who she fucked with!!!

      On another, wayyyyyy happier note, I GOT THE STUDIO APARTMENT!!!! It was perfect for my needs and I talked them down from ridiculously high to merely high-priced. I move in Monday!!!

      Thanks for your love & support, always, need I say that I ADORE you??? ❤ ❤ ❤

  3. Oh darlin I would have gone postal at that doctor! I have a long standing tradition of blowing up at doctors who act like they’re superior because of a medical degree. You know what it means in real life? They locked themselves away from the world for six years to study their butts off and forgot how to relate to humans on a personal level. Haha I vent I vent, and of course there are some wonderful docs out there but so many piss me off with their holier than thou attitudes lol

    Good on you for getting through the shit storm with your sanity, you will work it out I have no doubt xo

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