Is This My Life?

My life is not the glamourous Hollywood experience I signed up for.  Instead of seeing and being seen, “doing” lunch, shopping, heels, nails, and lots & lots of sexy sex, here I am badgering my new health insurance company (please oh please correct my birthdate so I can get some prescriptions) and chasing down prescriptions at Costco where I can pay cash.  I’m calling doctors, lawyers and therapists.  I’m finding out that the new insurance company doesn’t cover Dr. Drugs after all, despite my careful studying and entering of criteria.  This is not what I envisioned for myself!  I’m on half a dose of Abilify, and looking at no dose for tonight.  This is not glamourous!  This is not gorgeous!  I am not orgasming!!

I guess the gist of adulthood is constantly processing and accepting “what is” as opposed to “what I think it should be” or “what I wish for” and frankly this is a bitch of a way to live.  I know, I should have the hang of it now, I’m in my forties, for fuck’s sake.  Well, I don’t.  I’m still getting stuck on “this should be easy” or “this should just work” some of the time.  Thank GOD for  hair dye, that’s a quick fix!  I feel a little better with a pop of color in my hair, gray covered (fuck you gray, I am NOT in my forties!).  It’s the little things that can carry me through, I say.  I’m OFF to FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!!  LET’S HAVE A GOOD WEEK, PEOPLES!!!  Peach out!

21 thoughts on “Is This My Life?

  1. I ask that often. Really?? Is this what my life will be like forever? It doesn’t get better? Then I have to do it for two kids. I take back every time I said, I can’t wait till I am an adult. I wanna go back and have a much lower threshold of responsibility.

    • It IS stressful as hell and even an orgasm would help things. Hmmm…..well I have to take the little victories where I can get them! Like, I have Clonazepam again! That’s one thing! I can sleep! Now…one to the next…and the next…

  2. I’m a horndog, I’m 45, and I’m on lithium and Parnate! I sure as hell don’t feel 45.
    But don’t hate me for my sex drive, because my husband’s brother died recently, and he’s depressed, of course. My sweetie’s libido has vanished and it’s not like we can predict exactly when he’ll be in the mood for sexytime again. Sadly I’ve taken on another lover and his name is chocolate. 😦

    You’re SPOT ON about the hair dye – I used it on Sunday and it did make me feel better. 🙂 It’s definitely the little things that help, so let’s keep on doing them, honey!!!! Love you!!!!

    • You’re a horndog!! OMG I LOVE that word!! You dorkmo you crack me up!! I’m sorry to hear that your hubble telescope is not up to the task right now. Good choice of lovah 🙂

      BTW I’m blonde, and I fuck well better start having more fun! HA! HUGS!!

      • My “Hubble telescope” – haha hahahahahhahhhhhhhh!!!!!! OMG – too funny! It’s more like a stub right now, if you get my meaning. And YES, if you’re blonde you need to be horn –dogging it UP!!!! Sky high! Howwwwwwl!!!! 🐶🐶🐶

    • Yes I did say they wouldn’t give me my prescription because my birthdate is wrong with the insurance. They have my birthyear as 2015 so their system won’t dispense serious drugs to an “infant”. Fuckin’ stupid. So I went to Costco and paid cash for everything. Then I will hit up the insurance company for reimbursement. This is all so FUN! 😉

  3. Peace to you and keep at this crazy life! You sound like you have a good perspective, even though I know this illness is frustrating. Just when you think you have it figured out… BAM… something new to deal with. F’ing insurance companies.

  4. Mmm, I also can’t reconcile reality with ‘what-should-have-been’. I can’t belief you’re not getting your prescriptions. I’d be freaking out. You’re handling it very well. If anyone can win this battle its you 😉

Leave a Reply to BipolarOnFire Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s