Same Ish

Seems like I’ve already done a post titled “Same Shit, Different Day”.  Maybe I shouldn’t post at all!  But dammit I like to post so deal with it :).  Anyhoo, I’m still feeling somewhat shitty.  Better, but still shitty.. I *think* an increase in that devil Abilify might be to blame for some flatness I’m feeling.  Granted, there is the stress of losing my income, and not knowing what the fuck I’m doing with my life.  I have started looking for part-time jobs, but jobs that work with my time constraints (I have commitments on Thursdays and Fridays so that leaves me three available days per week) are few and far between.  It seems that employers want part-time workers every day, just not all day.  Still, I will keep looking.  My Thursday/Friday commitment ends at the end of the school year, so maybe at that time I can get a job.  Whether I can perform a job, or keep a job, or keep from bitch-slapping the difficult people I run into on a job . . . well those are all questions that will have to be answered in the future.  In the meantime, I’ve come up with a great money-saving scheme:  I’ve stopped paying bills.  I’m just calling motherfuckers and saying “I lost my income.”  What the fuck can they do to me?  I don’t care.  So, I’m not completely broke.  I can still buy gas and coffin nails.  What else do I need?  Well, a lot.  But, here’s the thing.  All that shit about being in the moment?  Here’s when you can really use that practice.  ‘Cause at this moment I can’t do much more than what I’m doing.  Worrying doesn’t help.  Freaking out doesn’t help.  Crying doesn’t help, but I do it anyway.  I’m just doing what I can, today.  I have about five more days’ worth of work to clean out my storage.  I have three weeks to do it, so I’m not worried.  Still trying to sell some of the contents.  Anyone need a rooftop cargo box for their car?  Look me up on Murderlist.  In the meantime I guess I’ll work on some tv watching.  This time I might even turn it on.  Oh btw I quit the marijuana again, it’s giving me too much of the munchies.  DAMN THE MUNCHIES!!!!  Well people it’s Monday, let’s make it a great week.  Ok dammit let’s survive the week!  Be in touch!  Peach out homies!

29 thoughts on “Same Ish

  1. Bitch-slapping the difficult people at my job is one of the top 3 reasons I go into work everyday. Here’s hoping you find something that pays you money enough to purchase more than gas and coffin nails. You sound better. Hope you are.

  2. I played $1 SuperLotto last Saturday in the hopes that I could help my fiery buddy as well as myself, and I didn’t even get ONE winning number! Yet old people seem to win the lottery around here who have nice houses, fat pensions and who don’t need the damn money! Maybe it’s fixed. Who knows?

    At least you are doing a little better and that’s a big deal, as “small” as it may seem. You’re one strong and magnificent gal and you will get through this shit. I’m SO proud of you for looking for part-time jobs. That’s super-tough, yet you’re doing it!!!!! Give yourself 1000 bonus points for that, you powerful peach.

    Crying is supposed to be really good for you as long as it’s not extreme, so don’t worry about that. I wish I could cry more because by holding stuff in I know it’s bad, but it’s up there with “I wish I could vomit more”.

    Another thing I’m really proud of you for doing, besides writing this real and brave blog post, is giving up the Mary Jane! Not easy, but you’re doing that too.

    You know how I love to handpick songs for you – this one is a cover performed in one of my favorite movies….check it out! And live its message, peach homey – you’ll not just survive this week, you’ll eventually thrive in the weeks and months to come. XOXOXO

  3. You can do it!! Sometimes I tell myself, “One day I’ll be able to look back on this and laugh.” Even if it’s so, so not funny. But hey, maybe one day you’ll be sipping a margarita by your pool on Sunset Boulevard and think, “Remember when I was poor and couldn’t find a job?? HAHAHAHA! Hand me another Gucci hand towel, James.” (James is your butler. Because everyone who’s rich has a butler named James. I’m convinced of this).

  4. I had to say “fuck it” when it came to bills. Collectors tried to shame me by saying things like, “So you think it’s okay to borrow money and not pay it back?” I’d tell them that I think if that was my intent then it would be wrong, but I didn’t anticipate going on disability when I’m in my fucking forties. Good luck on the job hunt.

  5. Have you considered trying to do something online, like freelancing via upwork (formerly odesk)? Just a thought, since that works better around a ‘I have things to do’ schedule. 🙂

    • Ya know, I just signed up for Upwork!! Thanks for the tip! Nothing yet but it’s just been a couple of days. I haven’t put my whole job history because I don’t want IT work, looking more for admin work. But I’ve been taking tests, hope that helps my prospects 😉

      • Fingers crossed! I know my sister got some good leads for her consultancy company there and is now making some big $$$. But she’s also rather NT and the go-getterest of go-getters.

      • I’m just talking dirty ciggies. Terrible. Stinky. And I can’t seem to quit them!! Someone just spoke of wearing “lead boots” in their blog and that describes me to a “T” – I am just dragging around, can’t get going. I wonder if I have chronic fatigue? Or could it actually be that I’m just a bum?

      • ‘Tis the problem of invisible illnesses, isn’t it. Am I crippled, am I not crippled enough, and so on. Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m crippled enough because I spend most of my day upright, but that’s ’cause I can’t do it horizontal due to dizziness. xD

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