Could It Be…Rapid Cycling?

I’ve read a lot of other people’s blogs about rapid cycling and I’ve wondered how or if it applies to me. After much thought, I’ve come to the conclusion, “Are you fucking kidding me?  You’re the QUEEN of rapid cycling!”  Which may be good to know.  Or…it could just be something that overwhelms me and makes me feel like shit.  <—-That’s it!  Rapid Cycling!  Here are some examples of what I *think* might be rapid cycling:

  • Decide that I need to get rid of my storage unit. In true black and white fashion, decide that I have to get rid of EVERYTHING, which makes me unbearably sad, leading to desolation, leading to beating up on myself and saying I’ll never have a home again, leading to suicidal feelings.
  • Decide that I can’t bear to part with my kitchen stuff, and that I can’t bear to let go of the hope of one day having my own home again. Make the decision to store the kitchen stuff where I live, which is a colossal ass-pain, but do-able. *Ching!* Suicidal ideation lifts.
  • Go to therapy and talk about what I’ve put myself through with storage issues. Therapist tries to talk me into going into the hospital. Suicidal thoughts return at the idea of being in the hospital.
  • Come home, call insurance company, find out what my coverage is for inpatient hospitalization. Feel relieved knowing that it’s an option but decide to go work out instead of being hospitalized. *Ching!* Suicidal ideation lifts.
  • Go to Mom and Dad’s to visit and feel like a 100% normal person, including but not limited to, excited at the prospect of joining their rec center and taking some new exercise classes for variety. *Ching* I feel normal today. WHAT THE FUCKIN’ FUCK???

So that is my argument for rapid cycling. Maybe it’s situational.  Maybe it’s me?  Maybe I’m just very, very Bipolar.  I don’t know.  Tell me what you think?  Oh and by the way…IT’S THE WEEKEND, FUCKIN’ A YEAH!!!!!

20 thoughts on “Could It Be…Rapid Cycling?

  1. You’re just very, very fucking perfectly bipolar! I’ve never been sure about rapid cycling. It’s sounds like exercise and that makes me tired just thinking about it. Whether it’s situational or bipolar, it’s you and that, my friend, is pretty awesome!

  2. I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV. I have rapid cycling. For me it’s like smoking meth. Shooting straight up high and quickly crash and burn. within a matter of a day or so. Yeah, I self medicated in my younger days.

    I did a quick look see for you and found this really good definition:
    http://tinyurl.com/h3239tm

    And, of course, talk with your pdoc

  3. I think you should discuss this with your doctor. I have been diagnosed rapid cycling bipolar 1, mixed phases and I don’t have suicidal thoughts that often. I understand everyone experiences bipolar disorder differently but when it comes to diagnosis, that’s truly best left to the professionals.

  4. After reading your post and the link Bradley kindly found, it sounds like it is rapid cycling, my sweet peach!!!

    I think it’s really good to know this info., my little cling; knowledge about what you’re going through might be overwhelming (with excellent reason!) but at least you know what you’re up against!

    Love you and send me a prayer…I splurged and bought $5 of lotto tickets at Masood’s yesterday. If I win, you win!!!!!!

  5. I’m just now learning about rapid cycling and asking myself the same questions as you. Why is mental illness so damn complicated?! Definitely need input from my doctors.

  6. I was diagnosed rapid cycling…I don’t think that’s the case anymore 6 years in I have quite defined cycles now. ..but then everything you’ve said is actually me…so if that’s rapid cycling then I must be…but then it’s just how a bipolar brain operates. …who knows. Xx

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