My sister was just in San Francisco and was kind enough to buy me some Ghirardelli dark chocolate-covered espresso beans. Nothing says “do ya think I’m sexy” like a mouth full of coffee grounds, which is what I look like after chewing on a few of these. However, they DO give me a certain energy, a verve, a joie de vivre, that caffeine all by itself hasn’t done in a long time. It’s like I found a new drug! Eat four or six or ten of these, and your procrastinating days are over! You’re in the shower, you’re dressed, and you’re walking, not driving, to the grocery store to brave the hordes of other procrastinators who didn’t get their Easter groceries earlier. Ah well, the sun was shining, and I floated on a cloud all the way there, avoiding puddles in my too-big white pants (yay, weight loss) and my easter-egg colored tie-dyed t-shirt! And lucky-fucking-me, they weren’t out of my favorite, Hawaiian Rolls. Those soft & gooey rolls just beg for a big dollop of butter and to be dipped in gravy, which I also bought. Now if I can just figure out how to endure the chaos of the whole family getting together, nieces and nephews screaming and literally shaking the house. If I thought I could maintain my composure, I’d get stoned. But there’s the danger that I’d forget to talk, or that I would say something wildly inappropriate, which would give me away. Or, the family might think I’m on the verge of a psychotic episode, even worse. So, I’ll go into the family gathering sober, hoping that my frail father doesn’t have the energy to have a temper tantrum about anything. Oh, the joy of family.