Do I Have A JOB?

So I applied for this part-time job working for a psychiatrist (I know it sounds like a joke but it’s TRUE!), converting all of her paper records to electronic, about three weeks ago. I had an interview which I thought went really well, but I never heard back from her.  So, I totally gave up and said, fuck this work noise.  THEN this Monday I got a voicemail from her, saying she wanted to discuss the position with me and was I still interested in the job?  Well I have to admit I felt ambivalent about it because I had resigned myself to the idea that I was (am) unemployable and now I would have to change how I was thinking about myself.  But, thinking it would be stupid as fucking hell not to respond to her, I called her back on Monday afternoon and left her an enthusiastic message saying that Yes, I was interested in the position.  And then….nothing.  So I’m like, what the fuck?  Is it possible she didn’t get my voicemail?  Did she change her mind?  Surely she didn’t change her mind based on my awesome voicemail, did she?  I mean, what in the fuckin’ fuck?  So I am just sitting here, back at square one, wondering what I am doing, with myself, with my life, am I going to get Disability, am I going to go broke, am I going to get a job, can I do a job if I get one, oh life’s little questions that torture you when you have too much time on your hands and NO ANSWERS!  AND I’ve eaten eight dark chocolate-covered espresso beans and I’m waiting for the buzz to come.  No buzz.  I swear to GOD I’m going to switch to cocaine if the old faithful, caffeine, stops working for me!  But hell no I can’t afford cocaine.  And where would you get cocaine?  Plus, it’s so impure, I’d hate to put that in my body.  Anyhoo, this is one hell of a ramble.  I think I’ll go make a smoothie.  Hope your week is going better than mine, either way, let me know!  Peach out homies!

19 thoughts on “Do I Have A JOB?

  1. Sorry you’re having a shitty week. Mine hasn’t been too great either. Depressed a lot. Remember, psychiatrists can be as flakey as anyone else. I’d hang in there and be optimistic because it sounds like getting organized is something that needs to be done for her.

    • I’m sorry you’ve been depressed dear Bradley. These fucking moods! Also I’m glad you said maybe the psychiatrist is flaky, I hadn’t thought of that although of course it’s true. You’re always a gem. Hope your mood lifts, luv. xo

  2. They say that good things comes to those who wait. Just take it easy and don’t pay any mind to it. She might be too busy and shit and hasn’t been able to call you back. Keep away from the negative thoughts, I know it’s hard, because I get them too.

  3. Girl, I’m so proud of you for putting yourself out there for a job –
    OMG – you are AMAZING, my pretty little espresso bean!

    And could you please give me that unprofessional psych doctor chick’s phone number so I can call and play her some of THIS!!!!!!!!??????? I seriously would do it in a fartbeat!

    • Honey, I am gonna have to do a Cena Intervention on you – I think you are addicted to this video!!! 😛 I would gladly give you her number, it is 1-800-WAHHWAHHHH please call her and give her a piece of your mind. Oh and btw are you fangirling just about now?? Mr. @GayOfThrones LOVED your blog post about him? WHOAAAAA. We have had a big Twitter day 😀 😀 😀

      • LOL – I won’t subject you to more Cena……for today, ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m a massive fangirl! Jonathan has been awesome! He lives near my Mom and someday I’m getting my hair done by him, but it’s $$$$$$ He has made me so happy by retweeting some of my bipolar-related posts, even though most of his fans are more interested in Game of Thrones, hair , yoga, and, um, super-sexytime things! 😉 I think Margaret Cho is YOUR new BFF but don’t tell Jenny Lawson as she might get jealous!!! 😉

      • I love love LOVE Margaret Cho so she rocked my world today!! Yay!! Yeah I can see it now, we’re gonna be friends and crack crude-ass jokes and get stoned. yeahhhhhhhh

  4. Eh, the usual… depressed, anxious, irritated and overwhelmed. Can totally relate to unemployed and what the hell do I do now. Good luck hopefully you’ll hear something soon!

  5. I hope you put some coca…I mean some caffeine in your smoothie. I understand your struggle. I have bipolar and I left a really good job in a fit of mania. No one could believe I was leaving, I had to resign twice. Now I work 9 hours a week at the local library. It feels like its all I can manage. Sometimes I am not sure I can manage even this. What I really want to say is I wish you all the best.

    • OMG!! I left a job once in a fit of mania and had to quit twice!! They just couldn’t believe I was putting my foot down (unwisely but I was making a point dammit). I look back at my past jobs now and I have NO IDEA how I did it, these days I barely dress myself and get out of the house. And thank you for the well wishes ❤

      • Well I hope she gets her ass into gear and calls back. If not you could always say to yourself – I wouldn’t want to work with someone so rude and unreliable whose behavior would probably trigger me. (?) I don’t know, ordinary people continue to confound me

  6. Awesome post!! I am in the same place as you. Will I ever get disability? Denied at hearing in appeals council now. Can I work again? What can I do and be stable? What will my life be like? Will anyone hire me or love me one day? I had to stop my teaching job after 20 years, and my pension is small. I feel broken, but we have to keep moving forward and just take it day by day. My life did not go the way I planned it. I was going to retire at 55 and be a snowbird. I’m 48 and I have no money to go anywhere. It sucks! Thanks again, it’s nice nit to feel alone. 😊

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