Playing Mommy

You may or may not know that I live with my sister and her two kids, who I love dearly. One of my great regrets is not having kids myself, although I think with my illness, it was definitely the right thing for me.  It gives me great joy to love and nurture this niece and nephew of mine, and I feel such pride that my sister has gone off to a three-day conference and left them in my care.  That she trusts me with these bright little souls, says a lot to me.  As I sit here on the couch with them, they are both playing video games (14 year old boy and 11 year old girl) and my niece is singing a song she made up about the dogs.  They feel safe and loved with Aunt BPOF and that makes me happy.  Here is another chance for me to be present for others, not thinking about myself or ruminating on my many worries as I make their pizza or pasta.  Here is a time that I am called upon to be my best self, to rise above my broken, half-working side and be there for these kids.  I am both challenged and uplifted by this chance.  The weather buoys me with glorious springtime temperatures and I know I’ll get out and enjoy that over the next few days.  I hope to live up to the faith that has been placed in me. More to come….

16 thoughts on “Playing Mommy

  1. Girl, that is HUGE trust your sister has placed in you, as you noted.
    So wonderful!!!!!! Your sister is so lucky that you’re in their lives. I’m estranged from my brother and his family, who live 20 minutes away. They bailed on me in 2007 when I was diagnosed with bipolar. I’m sure your sister treasures having you there…..

    Avonlea is 11, and she does things just like your niece, i.e. sing made-up songs about dogs. Forgive me for sharing this totally self-aborbed part….I’m in one of those moods. But I could see you doing something like this with your niece and/or nephew.

    Yesterday I took Avi to the local nursery because she loves to plant veggies and flowers. Unlike her mom. And it was so cool to encourage her and I swear a see a side of my Dad come out in her (he was totally into gardening). It mkes me sad to think of him not being here for that, but it’s bittersweet. Anyway…….they had baby chicks there!!! SO CUTE! We have 3 grown chickens. We took a picture of the chicks and told Craig we were bringing a bunch of them home along with a baby goat. He didnt buy that.

    You wrote

    “Here is another chance for me to be present for others, not thinking about myself or ruminating on my many worries as I make their pizza or pasta. Here is a time that I am called upon to be my best self, to rise above my broken, half-working side and be there for these kids. I am both challenged and uplifted by this chance. ”

    I love-love-love that!!!!!! I need to remember those lines too.
    You are truly rising to the occasion and you’re incredibly inspiring, my friend. Just in the way you’ve been with your father.

    So today because you are so packed with awesome I’ll spare you a John Cena video. But only for today… 😉 Tomorrow will be a different story.

    XOOXOXXOXOXOXOXO
    Dy

  2. It sounds like you’re having a really nice time. I’m so glad for you! Treasure it and burn it into your brain. These days are to be remembered and treasured when things aren’t so fun. You’re doing a great job!

  3. Parenting (even part-time) is a huge responsibility with challenges but great rewards. I’m glad your sister’s giving you the chance to taste the joy and laughter children can bring and that you are truly embracing it!

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