Work Worries

Well I finished inputting the first five files for Dr. Flaky and asked her if I could come get more files.  She wanted to look at my work and get back to me and at long last, she did.  Unfortunately for me, she had nothing but criticism.  This is missing, that is missing, and I’m like, I can only enter data that is actually in the file!  Said much more nicely than that.  Nothing about how thorough I was, how consistent, how I scanned every single page of the damn file and uploaded it . . . Oh dear, work anxieties, like always, are coming out of the woodwork!  The wish for approval and positive affirmation are overwhelming.  And I’m not getting any of it!  Is this going to be the job for me?  Is she going to want to keep me?  Fear, fear, fear.  And after I invested (probably unwisely) FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS in my beautiful laser printer!!!  I haven’t even made that much back yet!!  I am not the happiest of campers today.  I don’t like having my insecurities brought out.  I like thinking that I’m the greatest worker that ever lived!  What if I’m not up to the job???  Well I guess that will just be more data to tell me the level of my disability.  Which scares me.  Part of me wants to think that I can go back to work at 100% functioning any time I want.  Maybe that’s just not the case.  Maybe I can’t.  I guess time will tell.  I will do my best.

It’s May 1st and in Boulder, Colorado it’s snowing, goddamnit!!  This is NOT how it’s supposed to be on May 1st!!!  It has snowed for the past three days, including today.  I am over it.  Looking forward, the temperatures are supposed to increase and then we’re supposed to have some rain.  I don’t care about rain, as long as we don’t have any more snow.  DAMMIT!  Nothing is going my way.  I hope to have a less pitiful post for you soon.  Hope you all are enjoying a stellar Sunday.  Peaches!

30 thoughts on “Work Worries

  1. Don’t freak yet. I had a boss for 10 years who only said shitty things. But that was just her nature. She lacked people skills and felt no need to point out the good. She said no nice things to me ever, but twice a year gave me a kick ass review. All might be just fine 🙂

  2. Ugh. Your boss sounds like a nightmare. Maybe once you get in the groove of things it will get better? Sending positive vibes from Michigan… I’d be sending sunshine too, but we never have any of that. :-/

  3. In my experience, the way a boss communicates about your work does IN NO WAY reflect the level of your work ability. I’ve had bosses who adored me, who constantly told me how brilliant I was – and bosses who criticized everything I ever did. You are right – it about their management style. I’m sorry your boss is not so great at this.
    Try to stay strong and remember that you very capable of (probably any) job 🙂

  4. A note, not every job is worth having. Having said that, I would be extremely leery of anything that gave me such negative feelings. ((hugs)) ❤

  5. Thinking of you, honey! I’m so sorry you have to deal with this…

    I’ve taken quite a few jobs that didn’t work out and it wasn’t me! One time, because of demented office politics, it triggered depression.

    Most important is that you take care of yourself & not at the expense of this job. You can always, always get another job. You’re brilliant (I don’t tell everyone that), you have a sharp instinct and so much to offer. Not to focus on that negative, but it sounds like this psychiatrist has acted very flaky with you, and the fact that she only criticized your work indicates she needs some serious guidance about how to be a good employer who empowers her employees, not deflates them. It sounds like you did a fantastic job despite what she said about the things missing.

    I hope it does get better. If she continues to only criticize and not do anything to improve things, please look for another job. I know that’s incredibly hard, I know how much you put into finding this one, but you deserve and need a good environment to work! XOXOX Love you!

    • Thank you for your feedback and advice, I really appreciate it DyDy!! Not surprisingly, I have not heard from Dr. Flaky since I responded to her email on Sunday. So I am here with my thumb up my butt wondering what the fuck is going on 😉 so fun! I am going to look for another job TODAY! Love YOU!!

      • You are doing the right thing by looking elsewhere…..I’m so proud of you for being proactive I can hardly stand it, but I like it!!!!! You deserve a GREAT boss, dammit.

  6. Hope that the job improves and you start getting that positive feedback you need (we all do). If it doesn’t improve, then I hope a better opportunity is out there for you.

  7. They sounded so disorganized from the get go. I wouldn’t be surprised if your work was picked apart because of the boss’s own insecurities. There are certain people I deal with at work that have a need to assert themselves for the satisfaction of their own ego, by criticizing other people’s work. I’m like you, thorough, take pride in my work and then when it gets picked apart it just destroys me. I’m pretty sure its not the quality of your work, not personal, merely an extension of the boss’s own insecurities. Some people are just born to be assholes. Sorry she treated like that. I know how horrible it feels. But you’re better than them….. ‘cos I said so!! 🙂

    • Pieces, you are very insightful. Thank you. It HAS been very disorganized from the get-go! Thanks for being on my side 😀 I still don’t know what the hell is going on. I’m going to contact the good doctor tomorrow, it will have been a week. We’ll see what happens. I don’t have a great feeling. Crap. Hope you’re well my friend! ❤

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