Well I’ve Been Up, And I’ve Been Down…

Seems like I should be strummin’ a banjo, huh.  Yoooooodelayheehoo!!!  Welllll I been up, I been down.  Ok…end of bad country song.  Beginning of story.

It’s been good, a good summer, overall, the weather is lovely, I’m working (or at least I was…) and feeling happy and productive.  Isn’t it amazing how a little output can make a person happy?  Well, judge it if you will but it fuckin’ made me feel good to do something.  And then?  Well we pretty much finished up the work.  There was only so much, importing these psychiatric files into this new system, and then, dunzo!  I still act like the doctor’s assistant and call in prescriptions for her (DID YOU KNOW that you can just call in to the pharmacy and say you work for so-and-so doctor, and you can authorize refills?!?!  What awesome power I have!!!  And what a lax system is in place!!!  But I digress..)  So I am left with my fantastic new color laser printer/scanner, my desk all setup, and not much to do.  HELP!

And then….I got the letter in the mail yesterday from SSI Disability that basically said, verbatim, “Fuck Off, Stop Appealing Our Decisions, You’re All Out of Appeals, Go The Fuck Away.”  IT SAID THAT!!!  It is all over and done with.  Someone with severe Bipolar Depression, over 45 ECT Treatments, multiple hospitalizations, off “real” work for 2 ½ years….doesn’t qualify for Disability.  So NOW I have to revise my life plan rather drastically and rather quickly to determine how in the hell I can support myself, and still like my life.  Because the past options resulted in me hating my life.  Oh lawdy my therapist is going to be earning that money tomorrow!!  She’s gonna BLEED!!!

Meanwhile, back at your ranch, what’s been shakin’?  Any new meat to report?

14 thoughts on “Well I’ve Been Up, And I’ve Been Down…

  1. I’ve missed you. You always keep a positive spin on things, even when they are terrible. You are perfect at being you, and not everyone can say that. ❤

  2. Wow! You can’t appeal anymore? If you can, you should get a lawyer, one who specializes in SSID. But you seem to be coping really well, kudos for that. Hoping for the best for you!

  3. Wow, I’m so sorry about the appeals. I don’t know about SSI in this situation, but for some things, when an appeal is given a final denial, you can start from the beginning and apply again. As I said, I don’t know if this applies in your case, a lawyer would definitely help here. Personally, I live in fear of losing my disability. My attempts to go back to school and learn a new profession have flamed out so badly (great grades, then bouts of disabling panic attacks once, bottomless depression and hospitalization about a year after that…) that I just don’t believe that I could work in a gainful manner anymore…

  4. Oh man! I’m sorry about your disability. It’s hard to believe, really. It all seems so logical yet…. nope. Can’t believe it. Well, its lovely to have you back. I’ve missed your posts 🙂

  5. Not sure if you got my comment because I was having problems logging into WordPress. So, her goes again. Not sure if you tried this, but I highly recommend trying a lawyer that specializes in SSDI. I was denied and then my doctor recommended me to a lawyer that he had worked with and thus I was approved. There is a set limit on how much they get from your money, I believe it was $6000. I wish you you luck in continuing your challenge of navigating the stupid system.

  6. Hey!!!! I’m so glad you’re back. Not so glad obviously about the SSDI. They fucking suck if they think that you no longer need disability. What a world we live in! I agree with the people on here: get a lawyer. You’re tough shit. I know you’ll get through this.

    Glad to hear from you. Been wondering how you were holding up.

  7. I wish I could kick the ass of whoever 👿turned down your SSDI app, and cover him/her with a huge bag of Lucy’s excrement. 💩 (Yes, I’m immature!)

    I hope you had a super-productive session with your therapist, and that she didn’t bleed so hard that she became a liquified mess!

    I love getting me a dose of Bipolar on Fire I love the spirit that emanates from your words no matter what you’re discussing. You’re a true fighter and you’re one of the coolest, wittiest, creative souls around.

    Big hugs to you, my sweet friend – I’m wishing hard for an awesome opportunity/break to come your way – dammit, you deserve it! 💓

  8. Best wishes for whatever is around the next bend!! I know you are dealing with serious stuff, but man, your posts always make me smile. You have a way with wit.

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