I am going to share with you the most wonderful recipe I seem to have invented last night, stoned, in the middle of some serious munchies. Since I didn’t have much on hand, I seized upon Pasta! And Cheese! And said I Can Make Something!! These are the precise instructions on how to make Stoner Mac ‘N’ Cheese aka Heart Attack Mac.
Throw half a stick of butter in a pot and turn on the burner. Once it melts, pour directly from the flour sack until you have a small mountain of flour in the butter. Begin to stir, realize there’s too much flour, and add a little more butter. Once you have a nice paste, introduce the Half N Half. Just pour it on in, one glop at a time, stir, and start to form a slurry. What you’re looking for here is something resembling pancake batter. You may at this point be saying AH HELL NAH I AIN’T MAKING NO PANCAKE-BATTER CHEESE SAUCE to which I say STAY WITH ME BITCH IT’S HEART ATTACK MAC AND IT’LL BE THE BEST YOU EVER HAD!! Ok back to the “sauce”. You have a nice hot slurry. Now we’re gonna throw in any available cheese into it. For me this was about ¾ of a cup of shredded cheddar, and ½ a cup of shredded parmesan. Stir, stir, stir. Now ya got pancake cheese sauce slurry. Keep that sucker warm and in the meantime cook up ½ a bag of seashell pasta for 10 minutes or so. Drain, and pour your slurry over the drained pasta. Mix! Toss into a glass casserole (I didn’t even grease the damn thing) and hand-sprinkle some Italian Bread Crumbs on top (again it’s what’s on hand) and throw that sucker in a 350-degree oven for fifteen minutes. Voila! Heart Attack Mac and I SWEAR THE SHIT IS GOOD!!!