Stoner Mac ‘N’ Cheese aka Heart Attack Mac

I am going to share with you the most wonderful recipe I seem to have invented last night, stoned, in the middle of some serious munchies.  Since I didn’t have much on hand, I seized upon Pasta!  And Cheese!  And said I Can Make Something!!  These are the precise instructions on how to make Stoner Mac ‘N’ Cheese aka Heart Attack Mac.

Throw half a stick of butter in a pot and turn on the burner.  Once it melts, pour directly from the flour sack until you have a small mountain of flour in the butter.  Begin to stir, realize there’s too much flour, and add a little more butter.  Once you have a nice paste, introduce the Half N Half.  Just pour it on in, one glop at a time, stir, and start to form a slurry.  What you’re looking for here is something resembling pancake batter.  You may at this point be saying AH HELL NAH I AIN’T MAKING NO PANCAKE-BATTER CHEESE SAUCE to which I say STAY WITH ME BITCH IT’S HEART ATTACK MAC AND IT’LL BE THE BEST YOU EVER HAD!!  Ok back to the “sauce”.  You have a nice hot slurry.  Now we’re gonna throw in any available cheese into it.  For me this was about ¾ of a cup of shredded cheddar, and ½ a cup of shredded parmesan.  Stir, stir, stir.  Now ya got pancake cheese sauce slurry.  Keep that sucker warm and in the meantime cook up ½ a bag of seashell pasta for 10 minutes or so.  Drain, and pour your slurry over the drained pasta.  Mix!  Toss into a glass casserole (I didn’t even grease the damn thing) and hand-sprinkle some Italian Bread Crumbs on top (again it’s what’s on hand) and throw that sucker in a 350-degree oven for fifteen minutes.  Voila!  Heart Attack Mac and I SWEAR THE SHIT IS GOOD!!!

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