CEH Test Scheduled!

You may or may not know that I have been studying for my Certified Ethical Hacker certification.  I previously studied for and passed the Comptia Security + certification, despite some serious doubts on my part.  Well, now I have some serious SERIOUS doubts about my ability to get the CEH certification.  I am passing the practice tests, because I studied the answers to the questions I got wrong until I could get them right, but that doesn’t mean I have a true handle on the information.  I’ve studied just about as much as I can, though, and I just have to hope that the questions on the actual exam are similar enough to the practice exams that I’ll be able to muddle through and get a 70%.  It’s a four hour test – WHAT THE HELL?!  I can’t imagine what could take four hours.  The practice test takes about an hour.  It is 125 questions.  The fact that the REAL exam takes four hours makes me worried that I am wildly unready for it.  What the hell do you have to do?  Hack a system?  Fuckkkkkkkkk.  It is scheduled for Thursday, June 29th.  Right now I am feeling too overwhelmed to study but I have to overcome that.  Sometimes I have to literally force myself to study.  When I am overwhelmed I just want to sit around and obsess.  That doesn’t really get me anything good.

Ok, off to take some more practice tests!  The next one is from the study guide I read, it’ll be new questions so it’ll test my knowledge instead of my ability to remember the answers to questions.  Wish me luck!

Just to give some background on me, I have Bipolar Disorder, some say Bipolar II and some say Bipolar I.  I tend to be more depressed than manic, in fact the manic episodes are few and far between.  The depressed episodes are entirely too frequent.  I left my last full-time job about 3 1/2 years ago due to depression.  I actually went on FMLA to have ECT, and I never went back.  I was in a suicidal depression and I was hospitalized twice.  I had over forty ECT treatments.  I still don’t know if they helped.  I tend to think that the Ketamine they used to sedate me helped more than the ECT.  The reason I say this is because I had ECT in Florida too, and they didn’t use Ketamine for sedation, and I felt like shit after those treatments.  I was on Clozaril for about a year and a half and it turned me into a zombie.  I think what finally brought me out of being a depressed zombie was switching from Clozaril to Abilify.  I don’t remember why we did this, but I am totally grateful.  I have been able to function better than I have in a long time, moved back into my own apartment, started working part-time a little more than a year ago, and then got the opportunity to start classes for these IT Security certifications in January.  The fact that I can study and learn is something that I would not have even dreamed of a year ago.  So that brings us up to date.  I am taking my last certification test next week and I have started looking for an IT Security job.  That is my next hurdle.  Full-time jobs are kind of like Kryptonite to me and my mental health.  If I can find a part-time job, I will know there is a God 🙂

14 thoughts on “CEH Test Scheduled!

  1. With all your newfound security and hacking know-how, what’s your opinion about the necessity of being a VPN client connecting to a VPN service to secure our connection to the Internet? My son has been complaining about DDoS attacks. We pay for fast residential Internet, and use an Asus RT-AC5300 router. My son has changed settings on the router and subscribed to VPN services twice which I then cancelled twice. I watch Netflix and Hulu on my iPad using apps. The VPNs blocked my access to those services. My son games using his PC and Xbox. Thanks, Kitt

    • VPNs are not usually used for just your average run of the mill internet traffic. They’re usually setup for point-to-point traffic. It doesn’t make sense for just connecting to the internet and it wouldn’t thwart a DDoS attack anyway. DDoS attacks are rarely aimed at private citizens, they target large corporations with lots of bandwidth. You’re pretty safe from a DDoS attack I’d say.

      • Apparently gamers are using DDoS attacks as a strategy. Gamers are using VPNs. I don’t completely understand it. My understanding of VPNs is more like yours, coming from a corporate background where I would call into the corporate VPN to work remotely. The technology is being used differently by gamers nowadays. (I guess…)

  2. have faith… on the job front, you just might get lucky. Doing internet security ofr a mental health charity maybe, something/some organisation that would understand what you need x .. just catching up on your posts 🙂

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