I had one spectacular night away in the mountains and it reminded me about everything that is right in the world, like forests, and no phones, and singing birds, cheeping chipmunks, even a bobcat sprinting across the highway in front of us!! It was so peaceful and beautiful and I temporarily forgot about the job search and money stress and everything else. It was a great getaway with my sister. We even took some hikes (she would just call them walks) and I got some good exercise, imagine that!! And I didn’t smoke, even. I slept like the dead for about twelve hours and it was heaven. Unless I start a job next week, we are going again. Well, my family will go, with or without me 😉 but hopefully I get to go for a little longer stay with the nieces and nephews.
I got home and checked my bank balance and all hell broke loose internally – down to my last $1,000 after paying rent. I was at a super-low last night. I don’t know what to say. Financial insecurity and looking for a job that I don’t want has got me down to the edge. I’m seeing my therapist today, good thing!! I will see the dickhead Dr. Drugs on Monday and we will spar some more about how he is cutting my meds right and left. Maybe I will punch him. Not making any promises.
I saw Dr. Flaky today and she just handed me a blank check to write my own check. She has written the check wrong so many times, she’s just leaving it to me now. I guess that’s trust!! I could have written it for a thousand bucks, that would have been nice, but whoa the circle of trust would have been broken forever so I guess it’s good I didn’t do that. I told her I would write an ad for my job so she can fill it when I go and we both got sad. I genuinely like Dr. Flaky, despite her flakiness! She is still a good and kind person. It will be tough to leave her.
Well I’m off to meet my sister and nieces and nephew for lunch. My generous sister is going to give me some money ISN’T THAT NICE?! She is a gem. Hope all is well in your world. Peach out, homie!