I Applied For Ten Jobs Today

I started out the day by applying for one job.  Just one.  And then I sort of had a crisis in my head.  “Are you not desperate enough?”  “Are you waiting for a crisis?”  On and on.  See, most of the jobs are in Denver, and I don’t feel like I can do the commute to Denver.  In traffic, it’s probably going to be an hour each way.  Or more.  But even though I don’t feel like I can do that, I also don’t want to get to that very dark no-options no-money place.  So yeah, I guess I’m desperate enough to apply for jobs in Denver.  I even applied for a job with the Denver Broncos (GO BRONCOS!!!), even though it only pays a measly $40k a year.  It’s the Broncos!  I don’t know if I could even afford my white trash apartment on $40k a year, but I had to apply.  Some of those other jobs might pay similarly, which is why I hadn’t applied for them previously.  Or I thought they were below me, like Help Desk jobs.  I don’t want to sit on a Help Desk and answer phones.  But, once again, I have to tell myself, I don’t want to go to the dark place more.  I fear the dark place.

One of the questions that lots of employers like to ask is if you have a disability.  They say blah blah blah we work with the government so we try to hire people with disabilities.  Well I used to answer that yes, I had a disability.  I thought it might give me a leg up.  Now I look at it as a way for employers to discriminate against me.  I don’t answer “no”, I just answer “I refuse to answer”.  I know that’s probably an answer in itself, but I’m not going to blatantly label myself as someone with a disability, because I don’t ultimately believe that employers are going to go out of their way to interview or hire me based on my disability.  Anyone else have an opinion on that?

Well my adventure with Meetup has ended.  I killed the Meetup I started yesterday.  I decided to trade the monthly expense of the Meetup (which I was getting nothing out of) for Netflix!  So now I can watch tv instead of just sitting and staring into space!  Yay!  I am excited to have a new way to kill time.

I loved loved loved and appreciated everyone’s feedback on my last blog, it was SO comforting to have people relate to what I was saying!!  This is what makes blogging so rewarding.  So, THANK YOU, PEOPLE!!!  Hope you’re all having a lovely Sunday.  Love, BPOF ❤

16 thoughts on “I Applied For Ten Jobs Today

  1. I always enjoy reading your blog. Your raw honesty speaks to me. I sincerely applaud you for your determination. This shit can be so hard. Especially hard not to cower in fear. I’m trying to talk myself through things as well. I so needed to read your blog about being in the moment! I’m rooting for you, as I always do! Keep fighting the good fight and sharing it with us.

  2. I’m so dang proud of you for applying for those jobs. I thought about your disability question and at first I thought “I refuse to answer” would be ok. But now I think you should say “No” if possible – it’s none of their fucking business. By using the phrase “I refuse….” I *think* it may make you seem (on an unconscious level in their brains) as difficult. I’m being totally honest and I know you’d want nothing but that. I’d suggest sounding compliant in the interview. My two cents and of course I could be way off the mark. I don’t know if you need them to accommodate you for disabilities down the line – you know what I mean? I just think it’s an unfair question for them to ask!!!!!! Hope that makes sense.

    I LOVE Netflix and I think you made the 100% right decision. You gave the Meetup organizer thing all you had, which is a major achievement in itself!

    Again, I’m super-proud of you, my little firestarter! You deserve greatness!!!!!

  3. Wow, 10? that’s productive!!! And say you did get a call about one of the jobs further away at that point you can think further on it and see if it’s worth it…you know?

    Also I agree with you about answering disabilities. I don’t think it’s their business!! Why the F do they even ask? My mental health is my own business and private. I can’t see the point of telling them. 🙂

    Good luck! ❤

  4. Best of luck finding a well-paying full-time job. Probably best to continue to refuse to disclose your bipolar disability. Unless you can get some help from ADA-related employment non-profit to help you find a job.

  5. I used to answer yes to those sneaky questions too! And then I noticed I wasn’t getting any interviews. Coincidence? Perhaps, but I answer no now. Technically I’m NOT lying, because I’m NOT on disability, so… do I really have a disability?

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