Well the Job That Never Starts actually started. I have to say, I’m underwhelmed. I spent four days doing absolutely nothing, basically. My suspicion that this company didn’t have their shit together, evidenced by their inability to get the contract signed, has proven to be correct. They are wildly understaffed, and morale is low. The first day, there was no userid for me, so I couldn’t sign in to my pc. So, I sat at my desk, looking at my phone and feeling useless. I went to two meetings at the end of the day.
The second day, finally there was a userid, but then no password. So there was a whole process to get the password reset. Finally, signed in! My boss spent about two hours with me, showing me some sites and documents I should become familiar with. He told me to spend the rest of the day studying those sites and documents. That is basically what I did for the rest of the week. No more time spent with the boss.
I’m curious how many people with Bipolar also have Misophonia, or basically a strong sensitivity to sound. I have some degree of it. My sister, who is not Bipolar, has it to a much greater degree than me so anyway I know it runs in our family. In the cubicle land where I sit (I hate cubicle land), there is a guy who is very loud and never shuts up. Over the course of the week he got on my nerves more and more, and by Friday I could feel myself going into a rage. Trying to put a lid on the rage and keep myself under control, I took 1/2 a Xanax. I also chewed lots of gum, both Nicorette and regular gum. And I sat with my hands over my ears, reading the information on my monitor. There is also a person out there in cubicle land who coughs up a lung and sounds like they have whooping cough, this both gets on my nerves and makes me nervous. I can’t afford to get sick, with no sick leave as a contractor. So as you can see my anxiety levels got pretty high.
By Friday I was ready, more than ready, for the week to be over. The only things that saved me were 1) My long mornings – I must have a couple of hours in the mornings for “me” time to recharge my batteries. People think I’m crazy for getting up at 4am, but I get in a crazy bad mood if I don’t get my long morning. 2) I would sit there doing nothing (or next to nothing) and count up how much money I was earning, before taxes I almost earned enough to pay a month’s rent! So YEAH!!
I’m sure it will be easier once I know what I’m doing and can just do it. I know this company is kind of a sinking ship, but I am going to focus on learning as much as I can and then finding another job. It is just a three-month contract and I won’t count on them renewing it (because again they don’t have their shit together duh). But I’m working in Information Security!!! Not Desktop Support!!! So this is a WIN!!!!! I have to remember that.
Hope you all had a great week, and that you’re enjoying your weekend. Please let me know how you are in the Comments. Peach out!!