Here’s what I learned during my brief stint at my last job. First, I am able to work. Just the question as to whether or not I could get up every morning and get to a job on time, and then last a whole day, was big in my mind. I hadn’t worked 40 hours a week in nearly four years, and I had major reservations. But, I got myself up at around 4am every day, had my “me” time every morning (this used to be my smoking and coffee time, but I quit smoking, so it turned into my coffee and contemplation time), and got in the car by 6:30 am to arrive there by 7:15 am. For someone who tends to run late, this was a big accomplishment.
The second thing I learned is that I have great focus and I love to work on a task to its completion. Any work I was given (there were a few days when I had work to do) I did with great pleasure and focus. Those days flew by. This is a comfort to me, because again I did not know what I might or might not be capable of in the workplace. It’s disappointing to me that the people at this job didn’t see fit to give me more to do, or see my capabilities. I think I took it personally, and felt that they didn’t see me as capable of doing anything (or much of anything) and that really pissed me off.
The third thing I learned, or learned once again, is that I have no tolerance for a dysfunctional workplace, and this was one hell of a dysfunctional workplace. I have no tolerance for bullshit, like me sitting and doing nothing, whilst simultaneously pretending to do something. I don’t know if this is a trait of someone with Bipolar Disorder, or if I am just a very impatient person with bullshit. I think it is probably the latter. But my bullshit-o-meter was tripped, and my patience ran thin after almost three months. All I can say is I’m glad the job was a short-term contract. I have a tinge of regret that I didn’t make it to the end of the contract, but my tolerance was just stretched to its limit.
I hope and pray that my next job is better for me, and that I can make a choice out of more than just need. I hope I have some options. Let’s face it, I wish I didn’t have to work at all, but since I do have to work, I hope I can find something that is good for me. Is that too much to ask???