What I Learned From That Shit Job

Here’s what I learned during my brief stint at my last job.  First, I am able to work.  Just the question as to whether or not I could get up every morning and get to a job on time, and then last a whole day, was big in my mind.  I hadn’t worked 40 hours a week in nearly four years, and I had major reservations.  But, I got myself up at around 4am every day, had my “me” time every morning (this used to be my smoking and coffee time, but I quit smoking, so it turned into my coffee and contemplation time), and got in the car by 6:30 am to arrive there by 7:15 am.  For someone who tends to run late, this was a big accomplishment.

The second thing I learned is that I have great focus and I love to work on a task to its completion.  Any work I was given (there were a few days when I had work to do) I did with great pleasure and focus.  Those days flew by.  This is a comfort to me, because again I did not know what I might or might not be capable of in the workplace.  It’s disappointing to me that the people at this job didn’t see fit to give me more to do, or see my capabilities.  I think I took it personally, and felt that they didn’t see me as capable of doing anything (or much of anything) and that really pissed me off.

The third thing I learned, or learned once again, is that I have no tolerance for a dysfunctional workplace, and this was one hell of a dysfunctional workplace.  I have no tolerance for bullshit, like me sitting and doing nothing, whilst simultaneously pretending to do something.  I don’t know if this is a trait of someone with Bipolar Disorder, or if I am just a very impatient person with bullshit.  I think it is probably the latter.  But my bullshit-o-meter was tripped, and my patience ran thin after almost three months.  All I can say is I’m glad the job was a short-term contract.  I have a tinge of regret that I didn’t make it to the end of the contract, but my tolerance was just stretched to its limit.

I hope and pray that my next job is better for me, and that I can make a choice out of more than just need.  I hope I have some options.  Let’s face it, I wish I didn’t have to work at all, but since I do have to work, I hope I can find something that is good for me.  Is that too much to ask???

8 thoughts on “What I Learned From That Shit Job

  1. Gosh your post made me laugh. Thank you! I was so pleased to hear you’d had a chance to reflect on your accomplishments. There are many!! I felt the same way when I read that you have a zero tolerance for doing nothing. I feel the same way and I think it might be a bipolar trait. I love the sense of accomplishment for getting things done. Well done for getting past a difficult experience and knowing you are better for it. I wish you much success and happiness in 2018. You deserve it!

  2. Glad you now have more confidence in your ability to work full time. I can get short tempered when overstimulated or stressed. Symptoms vary from one individual to another, but bet your frustration tolerance may be lower due to bipolar. Best of luck “faking” enthusiasm on interviews and your next job. When I worked I found that my own attitude was reflected back onto me. Put out Peaches 🍑 and you receive Peaches 🍑.

  3. I’m the same as you and Jane Reddington above. I can NOT stand having nothing to do at a job. Drives me crazy! I’ve quit temp jobs (way back when) when there was nothing much to do. Luckily in my permanent jobs I was able to come up with my own ideas for things to do. That satisfied me, allowed me to be creative, and earn brownie points to boot.

    I’m still on disability. I’ve tried some volunteering, but some jobs were just unbearable to do. They ended up making me sick. I do wish I’d find something more interesting to really test my ability to stick to something. That’s wonderful that you found you could get up at a early time and make it through the day OK. I’ll look forward to the day I can do that, as well. Great job! I hope you find a new job that is more satisfying.

  4. You should check out United Health Group’s career page. The insurance benefits aren’t awesome, but they do have work from home jobs. I’ve worked full time from home for one of their companies for 8 years. I don’t know how much IT type stuff they offer from home or if they have offices near you but I figured it was worth recommending anyway. Hope you find something awesome!

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