Well today I’m back to being Mom and Dad’s maid. It’s a way to put some money in my pocket while I look for another job and I’m grateful for that.
I hate to say it but I think I am depressed. I am crying at the drop of a hat. I watched the movie The Big Sick yesterday and I cried like a baby. If I see any sad news on Facebook I cry. Yeah, I’m depressed. Damn it. It’s so hard to admit it. Part of me thinks if I don’t admit it, it’s not true. I need to start using my therapy light, and I need to get religious about exercise. I also need to get in to Dr. Drugs, but my goddamn Obamacare hasn’t come through for the new year yet. What the fuck is the holdup in billing me, Cigna???
This Bipolar Disorder stuff is a bitch. I don’t tend to get manic, I tend to get depressed. It makes everything hard. Like, I don’t want to do shit when I’m depressed. It’s like slogging through pea soup. In the fog.
Well I have to go force myself to eat breakfast so I can force myself to take a shower so I can force myself to go to Mom and Dad’s. I pray that I don’t cry at their house. I don’t want them getting all worried about me. I’m sure they’re already worried because I am looking for a job and I don’t want to take on their fear. Ok I need to breathe. Say a prayer for me or send me good juju if you can. Thanks and peach out homies!