Back To Being The Maid

Well today I’m back to being Mom and Dad’s maid.  It’s a way to put some money in my pocket while I look for another job and I’m grateful for that.

I hate to say it but I think I am depressed.  I am crying at the drop of a hat.  I watched the movie The Big Sick yesterday and I cried like a baby.  If I see any sad news on Facebook I cry.  Yeah, I’m depressed.  Damn it.  It’s so hard to admit it.  Part of me thinks if I don’t admit it, it’s not true.  I need to start using my therapy light, and I need to get religious about exercise.  I also need to get in to Dr. Drugs, but my goddamn Obamacare hasn’t come through for the new year yet.  What the fuck is the holdup in billing me, Cigna???

This Bipolar Disorder stuff is a bitch.  I don’t tend to get manic, I tend to get depressed.  It makes everything hard.  Like, I don’t want to do shit when I’m depressed.  It’s like slogging through pea soup.  In the fog.

Well I have to go force myself to eat breakfast so I can force myself to take a shower so I can force myself to go to Mom and Dad’s.  I pray that I don’t cry at their house.  I don’t want them getting all worried about me.  I’m sure they’re already worried because I am looking for a job and I don’t want to take on their fear.  Ok I need to breathe.  Say a prayer for me or send me good juju if you can.  Thanks and peach out homies!

12 thoughts on “Back To Being The Maid

  1. Sorry you’re feeling under the weather. I have been going through that phase for quite some time and yeah, this shit sucks. At least you’re a champ about it. I chuckled at your closing and I’m sending good juju your way. ✌

  2. Sweetie, I’ll pray for you if you keep praying for me. We’re 10.5 hours away from leaving London to Chicago and I’m in the middle of a colitis attack. Got the runs while onboard the 1st plane. Oy!
    Israel was amazing. The wedding was super amazing. If I (and about half of the rest of the folks I was with) hadn’t been so sick it would have been perfect!

    • Sue, I read your comment a couple of hours ago and I started pouring on the prayers!! And thank you for praying for me!!! I am so glad that Israel was amazing!!! I still pray for you and your hubby every morning at breakfast and I was wondering how Israel was so I am super-happy for you. Not happy you’ve been sick. You’ve been on my mind. Hope you get very well, very soon. HUGS!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

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