I Haven’t Gone To Crazy Town Yet But I’m On The Outskirts

Well, fuck a duck.  What a week.  Four interviews and no results.  Lots of time spent waiting for the phone to ring, and obsessive checking of the email.  Feeling all kinds of kookoo.  This was my week.  To break it down:

I had my FOURTH interview with a freight company that I really don’t want to work for, it’s a Desktop Support job where I’d be supporting an entire office and would be on-call once every four weeks.  It sounds really overwhelming.  Nevertheless, I keep going to the damn interviews and acting like I want the job.  They seemed like they were in a HUGE hurry to hire someone, with one interview after the other, yet my last interview was on Monday, and I haven’t heard a peep from them.  This makes me think they don’t want me, which is probably a good thing, yet it’s a blow to my big fat ego.  BUT if they don’t want me, why not let me know?????  What the fucking fuck, I say!!!

The next interview was Tuesday morning at 7am (!!!) over Zoom, which is like Skype, for a Security job, and it went really well.  I know it went really well because the interviewer told me it did.  So the next step was a written test.  They sent me the written test, which was a fucking nightmare.  Just a bunch of Linux logs and a set of questions about them.  Guess who doesn’t know fucking Linux from a hole in the wall???  So I got on the Google and winged it.  Pretty sure I bombed the fuck out of that test.  Sent it back, haven’t heard a peep.  Again, if I’m no longer a candidate, why in the holy hell couldn’t they just let me know????????????  I REALLY REALLY REALLY want the job, it would save me from having to take a Desktop Support job, and it’s a really good company.  So I’m highly invested, and not getting any answer is KILLING ME!!!

The third interview was Tuesday afternoon, a PANEL INTERVIEW on Zoom, for a Desktop Support job at the local University.  If I had to take a Desktop Support job, this would be the one to take (if I had a choice).  The pay is shit, but they offer three weeks of time off per year, and nine hours of free classes per year.  Plus, I would be assigned certain departments to support, which means I would get to know the people and their applications and would get very good at supporting them.  I should hear next week if I get a second interview.

The fourth interview was on Wednesday, it was at a manufacturing plant and it stunk – literally!  This would be another situation where I would support the entire office on my own (Desktop Support), and in this situation I would be on-call 24/7/365 which is pretty much total bullshit.  The interview went very well though, and I should hear something next week.  But once again, I desperately don’t want to have to take it.

So that was my week, with a few stomachaches peppered in (not as many as last week), and absolutely no exercise (boo).  My stress level has been through the roof and I certainly would have benefited from exercise, but instead I spent a lot of time laying on my bed reading Twitter and obsessively checking my email.  NOT the most functional week.  I did go to Mom and Dad’s yesterday and worked my ass off as the maid, thereby frying my back.  I came home and laid on my industrial-strength ice pack (it’s HUGE!) for over an hour.

This morning I woke up early (it was still dark) to an owl calling to another owl.  It was so peaceful and beautiful!  I am grateful for the little things, like owls.  And having a home, however humble.  And my singing birds.

Hopefully next week I will have some good news to share.  Thanks for reading, and have a great weekend!!!  Love, BPOF

…And More Interviews

Yesterday I had my fourth interview for a Desktop Support job that I desperately do NOT want, yet I am giving it my best shot anyway because I desperately need a job.  What a fucking quandary!!  Today at 7am I had a Zoom (like Skype) interview for a Security job that I desperately WANT!!!  The interviewer told me that I did very well and that the next step would be a written test, which I would have 24 hours to complete.  Well, I have been watching my Gmail like a hawk and the damn test has not materialized!!  And I’m praying to GOD and BUDDHA and WHOEVER ELSE EXISTS OUT THERE that I can do well on this written test and get this job because GOD SAVE ME FROM HAVING TO GET A DESKTOP SUPPORT JOB!!!!!

And then this afternoon I have ANOTHER Zoom interview for another Desktop Support job, and then tomorrow morning I have yet another interview for yet ANOTHER Desktop Support job.  I JUST WANT A SECURITY JOB, PEOPLE!!!!!!  IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!  We will find out soon enough I guess.  I am going to be soooooooooooooo disappointed if I don’t get this Security job!!!!  I think I need to work on some emotional balance here.  Because I have none.

I know my blog has devolved to a blog about job searching and I’m sorry.  This is my life right now.  Hopefully soon I will have more interesting things to say, like I’m spending too much money or something.  Wouldn’t that be nice??

Hope you’re all having a good week so far….peach out!

More Pain And Interviews Galore!

My, what a week it has been!  First off, let me say PRAISE THE LAWD that we are Springing Forward tonight!!!!!  I am such a light-dependent soul and having those long evenings just does me so much good!  So YEAH!!!!!  And now for some tidbits from my week . . .

I do firmly believe that I have a large rock lodged in my stomach.  The ultrasound said otherwise, in fact, the ultrasound said everything is normal.  Well, fuck the ultrasound because my stomach is still KILLING ME DEAD and I can barely eat and I’ve lost another three pounds because of it (yay) but no yay on the goddamn pain!  I almost missed one of my many interviews of the week due to being in pain, but it subsided just in time for me to answer the phone.  Tylenol in large doses seems to be the only thing that helps.  The doctor prescribed an Advil horse pill (800 mg) which HURTS MY STOMACH.  Are you seeing a theme here?

It’s hard to say how many interviews I have had in the last week.  For one job, a Desktop Support job that I really don’t want, the company is rated shit in Glassdoor, I’ve had three, and I have a fourth this coming Monday.  For another Desktop Support job that I might tolerate because it is close to me and I think it would be easier, I had one phone interview, and I’ll have an in-person interview next week.  I had a phone interview for a Security job (YAYYYYYY) this week and I’ll have a second, longer phone interview next week.  THAT job I am really interested in because I think it might be a work at home job which would be a DREAM!!!!!  Then there’s a fourth interview coming up for a Technical Support job for a Security company but that woman can’t get her shit together and get it scheduled.  So we’ll see.  I am hoping and praying and praying and hoping for the Security job.  If I have to take a Desktop Support job I’m going to be very upset.

The weather was beautiful this week, but I didn’t get to enjoy it because I was mostly laying on my bed holding my stomach.  Or taking a nap because I was up all night with a stomachache.  I have another doctor’s appointment on Wednesday but I might go to Urgent Care today.  I’m very worried that this damn stomach will make me miss an interview.

Somehow, my mood has help up through all this pain.  How?  I do not know.  I guess I’m on the right drugs.  I sincerely hope that you all had a better week than I did.  Please let me know, don’t be shy.  Just fill out that little Comment field below.  Have a GREAT weekend!!!  Peach out.

A Painful Week

This week, my body started attacking me with severe abdominal pain, seemingly out of nowhere.  It actually happened once the week before, at 4 in the morning, but I thought it was just an anomaly.  But this week it began occurring with some regularity.  It was happening after eating a meal, and I was also consistently getting woken up at 4am with severe pain.  So, I went to the health clinic and they said it’s probably my gallbladder, and I need an ultrasound to diagnose it.  In the meantime, I have to eat an extremely low-fat diet.  The ultrasound is this coming Tuesday.  I have lost my appetite and severely cut down my food consumption, so when I got on the scale today I had lost three pounds, YAY!  The happy side of extreme abdominal pain.  Nevertheless, I am worried that they won’t find anything with the ultrasound, and I’ll just be left hanging with this extreme (EXTREME!) pain.  I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

Being in this much pain really took it out of me this week, I actually had to take naps, which I never do, and I only exercised one time this week.  I didn’t do as much on my job search as I usually do.  I had two phone interviews, one for a Security job and one for a Desktop Support job.  The Security job requires a Top Secret clearance, which I don’t think I’d be able to get, with a foreclosure, bankruptcy, and mental illness in my history.  Plus, I would have to wait months to start the job while they secured the clearance.  The Desktop Support job sounds promising, but when I looked up the company on Glassdoor the reviews were total shit.  However, I am desperate for a job so I don’t know how choosy I can be at this point.  I did get another email for another phone interview on Friday, hopefully I will have that one on Monday.  That job is closer and hopefully it’s a better company, I need to look it up.

My mood crashed to about as low as it could go when my rent got withdrawn from my bank account and I was left with $300.  THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!  The good news is that I didn’t go into suicidal ideation, because I’ve made a firm decision that that is not an option for me.  The other good news is that my very generous sister gave me $400 to take the pressure off.  Now I have enough to pay the monthly bills.  I will have to get a loan from Mom & Dad to pay April’s rent, but I’m getting ahead of myself.  It’s only March 3rd.  THANK GOD for family support!!!!  Still it feels like shit not to be self-supporting, and I want to get a job as soon as possible.  I think that’s probably obvious :).

Happy Things:  We have been having some beautiful, Spring like days which I looooooooove.  Also, we are one weekend away from Springing Forward!!!  I have been taking my two 13 year old goddaughters to work out on Saturdays and that time with them is golden.  All very happy things to be grateful for.  Also through all of my personal turmoil, I have remained a non-smoker.  This is a happy thing too.  And in total I have lost nine pounds so far, so my big fat pregnant-looking tummy is slowly shrinking, thank you JEEBUS!!!  That is a relief.  I am very self-conscious about my weight and it is a relief to be losing weight.

Well this is a long-ass blog so I think I will bring it to a close.  I hope you all had a good week.  Let me know how you are in the Comments!  Peaches and Love to you!