I Haven’t Gone To Crazy Town Yet But I’m On The Outskirts

Well, fuck a duck.  What a week.  Four interviews and no results.  Lots of time spent waiting for the phone to ring, and obsessive checking of the email.  Feeling all kinds of kookoo.  This was my week.  To break it down:

I had my FOURTH interview with a freight company that I really don’t want to work for, it’s a Desktop Support job where I’d be supporting an entire office and would be on-call once every four weeks.  It sounds really overwhelming.  Nevertheless, I keep going to the damn interviews and acting like I want the job.  They seemed like they were in a HUGE hurry to hire someone, with one interview after the other, yet my last interview was on Monday, and I haven’t heard a peep from them.  This makes me think they don’t want me, which is probably a good thing, yet it’s a blow to my big fat ego.  BUT if they don’t want me, why not let me know?????  What the fucking fuck, I say!!!

The next interview was Tuesday morning at 7am (!!!) over Zoom, which is like Skype, for a Security job, and it went really well.  I know it went really well because the interviewer told me it did.  So the next step was a written test.  They sent me the written test, which was a fucking nightmare.  Just a bunch of Linux logs and a set of questions about them.  Guess who doesn’t know fucking Linux from a hole in the wall???  So I got on the Google and winged it.  Pretty sure I bombed the fuck out of that test.  Sent it back, haven’t heard a peep.  Again, if I’m no longer a candidate, why in the holy hell couldn’t they just let me know????????????  I REALLY REALLY REALLY want the job, it would save me from having to take a Desktop Support job, and it’s a really good company.  So I’m highly invested, and not getting any answer is KILLING ME!!!

The third interview was Tuesday afternoon, a PANEL INTERVIEW on Zoom, for a Desktop Support job at the local University.  If I had to take a Desktop Support job, this would be the one to take (if I had a choice).  The pay is shit, but they offer three weeks of time off per year, and nine hours of free classes per year.  Plus, I would be assigned certain departments to support, which means I would get to know the people and their applications and would get very good at supporting them.  I should hear next week if I get a second interview.

The fourth interview was on Wednesday, it was at a manufacturing plant and it stunk – literally!  This would be another situation where I would support the entire office on my own (Desktop Support), and in this situation I would be on-call 24/7/365 which is pretty much total bullshit.  The interview went very well though, and I should hear something next week.  But once again, I desperately don’t want to have to take it.

So that was my week, with a few stomachaches peppered in (not as many as last week), and absolutely no exercise (boo).  My stress level has been through the roof and I certainly would have benefited from exercise, but instead I spent a lot of time laying on my bed reading Twitter and obsessively checking my email.  NOT the most functional week.  I did go to Mom and Dad’s yesterday and worked my ass off as the maid, thereby frying my back.  I came home and laid on my industrial-strength ice pack (it’s HUGE!) for over an hour.

This morning I woke up early (it was still dark) to an owl calling to another owl.  It was so peaceful and beautiful!  I am grateful for the little things, like owls.  And having a home, however humble.  And my singing birds.

Hopefully next week I will have some good news to share.  Thanks for reading, and have a great weekend!!!  Love, BPOF

17 thoughts on “I Haven’t Gone To Crazy Town Yet But I’m On The Outskirts

  1. Reblogged this on DayByDayBipolar and commented:
    Today’s blog share comes from Bipolar On Fire. This blogger shares their daily ups and downs in a very real and unfiltered way. Simply stated they tell it like it is and show what it’s really like to live with Bipolar Disorder – warts and all 😉

  2. I can so relate to your post. I only had one interview and was obsessively checking my email. I was told I would hear on a Saturday and didn’t. My mind running races, I emailed them. No go! The waiting game is soooo hard! Hang in there.

    • Oooohhhh thank you so much for relating!!!!! It’s HELL isn’t it?!?! Right now I am just looking for more jobs and I went through LinkedIn, Glassdoor, Indeed, Dice and Monster and I found TWO jobs to apply for. TWO!! God….

  3. Spring is coming (I type this as I can’t feel my feet or tips of fingers due to this freezing house!!!!!!) and with it, your new, better job. I can feel it coming for you deep within in my frozen bones, sweet peach. So DON’T give up and please know that I’m praying my icy cold ass off for ***you*** that you get a great job you deserve!

    • Sorry you’re freezing!!!! And thank you for the encouragement!!!! I just hope the job comes before my lease is up and I have to move in with my parents, horror of horrors!!! But that’s a few months away . . . it still puts the fear of God in me to think about!!!

  4. Wishing you luck on the dreaded job search. My sympathies are with you 100% nothing more draining and anxiety-inducing than job hunting. And seriously what is with employers never getting back I mean talk about rude, certainly makes me not want to work for you or ever recommend someone to apply.

      • OMG yes yes it used to cause me so much anxiety. I used to work for a department store and would do the interviews with the store manager she never cared about contacting people back but I just could not do that so I would stay late off the clock and call people to let them know it just seemed like the courteous thing to do.

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