Best Bipolar Medications, Volume II

Here is a synopsis of what I have used, and how it has worked. I’m not saying it will work the same way for you, although it might!  I don’t think any of them will kill you, although they say that Latuda has the potential for an awesome deadly rash.  Bad-ass!

Lithium: Seemed to work as a mood stabilizer.  Side effects:  One minor side effect was that I HAD TO PEE A MINIMUM OF FIVE TIMES A NIGHT!!!!  Dr. Drugs considered this to be a negligible side effect.

Clozaril: Worked as a mood stabilizer in that it kept me glued to the couch watching tv.  No motivation to get up, get out, go see the world, and certainly I couldn’t work up enough motivation to kill myself.  Side effects:  Pot-like munchies, causing me to gain THIRTY POUNDS.  Dr. Drugs considered this to be an acceptable side effect.  When I told him that my PCP was concerned that I may become diabetic, he replied “Then we treat the diabetes.”  Not cool, Dr. Drugs, NOT COOL!!

Lamictal: Stabilized me to a point that I was completely flat.  No affect whatsoever.  Couldn’t think of a thing to say, do or be.  Side effects:  See above

Abilify:  This is my current drug.  I’ve always hated Abilify because of their stupid fucking cartooney commercials.  BUT!  This shit is working.  I’m stabilized, and I have a personality.  My long-lost creativity has come back, after two years of hiding from me.  I think Dr. Drugs took it and put it in a box somewhere.  Side effects:  It is possible to have herky-jerky involuntary muscle movements.  So far I have punched myself in the face only once.

What’s the commonality among all of these drugs? None of them give you diarrhea.  This is a good thing people.  They will not send you hurtling towards the ceiling, the noxious stuff shooting out of your butt.  Oh how I wish I could say the same for this cocktail of antibiotics that I am on for the Oh Glory H. Pylori!  My head is now flat on top.  And I hurt.  HURT!  In the nether regions.

Ok now…it’s your turn! What’s working for you?  Let’s get this mofo cookin’ with some good, current info on what works for us Bipolars, YEAH BABY!  Peach out, homies!!!