Is This My Life?

My life is not the glamourous Hollywood experience I signed up for.  Instead of seeing and being seen, “doing” lunch, shopping, heels, nails, and lots & lots of sexy sex, here I am badgering my new health insurance company (please oh please correct my birthdate so I can get some prescriptions) and chasing down prescriptions at Costco where I can pay cash.  I’m calling doctors, lawyers and therapists.  I’m finding out that the new insurance company doesn’t cover Dr. Drugs after all, despite my careful studying and entering of criteria.  This is not what I envisioned for myself!  I’m on half a dose of Abilify, and looking at no dose for tonight.  This is not glamourous!  This is not gorgeous!  I am not orgasming!!

I guess the gist of adulthood is constantly processing and accepting “what is” as opposed to “what I think it should be” or “what I wish for” and frankly this is a bitch of a way to live.  I know, I should have the hang of it now, I’m in my forties, for fuck’s sake.  Well, I don’t.  I’m still getting stuck on “this should be easy” or “this should just work” some of the time.  Thank GOD for  hair dye, that’s a quick fix!  I feel a little better with a pop of color in my hair, gray covered (fuck you gray, I am NOT in my forties!).  It’s the little things that can carry me through, I say.  I’m OFF to FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!!  LET’S HAVE A GOOD WEEK, PEOPLES!!!  Peach out!