Four Baby Birds and Dr. Flaky Earns Her Name

Wow, lots going on.  Well I have four baby birdies, they are between and week and five days old.  They were born over the span of a few days obviously.  Two of the eggs did not hatch and that is fine with me!  Four babies is enough!  They are precious and I’m so sorry I don’t have a picture for you, it’s impossible to get a good picture into the nest!!  I need to haul the “good” camera out and try with that, so far I am too lazy.  The youngest one has “arms” but the older ones have beautiful little wings.  They make demanding little cheeping noises when they want to be fed.  Peaches and Herb spend a lot of time eating so they can feed them.  I am going out of town tomorrow for a couple of days and it’s going to KILL ME to leave the babies!!!  I’m sure I will be obsessing over them the whole time.  I am amazed at how bonded I have become to my little birds.

This was a stressful week on the job front.  First of all, I am looking for a job, and that is stressful.  Secondly, Dr. Flaky (my current employer, you may have heard of her in the past) kept getting voicemails from pharmacies where she had prescribed drugs for her patients saying they showed that her license to practice medicine had expired, and she was having me call them to say it had not.  Finally Dr. Flaky got a little freaked out and sent me to her office (she is on vacation) to find her current license and lo and behold, there was NOT one because SHE DIDN’T RENEW HER LICENSE!!!!  This is a crisis of epic proportions because she can not practice medicine or prescribe drugs without a license!!!  SO!  She has to re-apply for her license and go before the Medical Board of the state, and in the meantime she has to find someone to cover her practice.  It’s all kinds of fucked up.  I should know when I get back on Wednesday exactly what is happening, like, who is covering her practice, and who (she or I) is calling patients to cancel ten weeks’ worth of appointments (it will take ten weeks to get her license back).  Holy moly this was stressful.  I wanted to drink and get high but I am trying not to drink because it’s not good for me and I am not getting high because I have to get ready to pass a drug test (DAMN THE  DRUG TESTS!!!) for a new job.  So I am COPING without substances.  What a novel idea!!!

So today is Day 10 of not getting high.  I had developed quite the daily habit, which makes it all the more amazing that I was able to pass the CEH certification.  They say that marijuana is not habit-forming, or addictive, but I sure formed the habit.  The first few days off marijuana, I was very achy and had stiff joints.  I was miserable.  I know I am better off without the marijuana, even though I love being high, it triggers binge eating in me and I am super-fat right now and very uncomfortable in my body.  It’s definitely not a healthy habit for me and I hope I can stay off it.  I may sound like a broken record here because I’m sure I’ve said this before.

Well I’m off to Glenwood Springs tomorrow.  We are going on a hike on our way into Glenwood Springs to see the Hanging Lakes and I hope and pray that I don’t have a heart attack on the hike.  It would sure disappoint my nieces and nephews to see their Aunt fall down and die.  My sister wouldn’t like it either.  I’m not too jazzed about soaking in the hot springs in Glenwood when it’s so hot already but I am excited just to get away.  I haven’t had anything resembling a vacation in a couple of years so I hope that a) I don’t die and b) I get some enjoyment out of it.

Well that’s all the exciting news from Bipolar On Fire-Ville!  Other than stress, my mood is pretty good and steady, yay drugs!  Hope you all are doing well!  Peach out!

The Time Is Now!

Well this is it!  The shit is hitting the fan, peeps!  Funds are running low, time is running out.  I have to find a job.  And I have to take this *&%$^&* test!  I am passing the practice test with high scores, but that’s only because I have studied my wrong answers.  It doesn’t mean I get the concepts.  However, I’m hoping that I have enough basic knowledge to pass the test.  I doubt it, but I have to try.

I have begun to apply for jobs in IT Security, stating in my cover letter that I recently received my Security + certification and that I am studying for my Certified Ethical Hacker certification.  I feel like a fraud.  I mean, I have learned stuff, but I am by no means a Security Professional.  However, I have to try!  Maybe someone will give me a chance and I’ll get a job where I can learn on the job.  I’m good at that.  I don’t know what else to do!  I can’t go back to my old work, the thought makes me want to chop my own head off.  So, to sum up, I’m scared, I’m overwhelmed, I feel like a fraud, trying anyway.

In happy bird news, Peaches has now laid three eggs.  In sad bird news, Peaches and Herb seem to have no inclination to incubate the eggs.  😦  Maybe I’ll take them out and keep them in my bra.  HA!  That would be something, walking around with tiny bird’s eggs in my bra.  I am trying to let go of the outcome and just enjoy my little cheepers.  They are incredibly cute and brighten my days.  Lots of time is spent watching the birds.

In Meetup news, I have a hike this weekend.  Don’t know if my fat ass can even accomplish this hike, I’m thinking I need to go for a dry run today.  We’ll see if I actually do it.  I have oodles of good intentions, but you know what they say about good intentions . . .

I had a real bad day of depression earlier in the week, but now I’m kind of back to the status quo.  Except for this undercurrent of fear about life.  That’s kind of a downer.  I think the only cure is to take more action for the future.  Sitting curled up in fear is guaranteed to get me more shitty feelings.  Oh God life is hard some times… I hope I don’t sound like a great big whiner.

Well that’s all for now, thanks for reading!  Next time I hope to have something exciting or exotic to say.  Peach out homies!!

Picture From The Aforementioned Hike

IMG_0756

Yesterday I said I was about to go on a life-affirming hike.  This is the kind of beauty that is practically right outside my door – this is about a mile from my house.  Can you say GRATITUDE????  Boulder is full of beauty and Open Space for people to enjoy it.  I am so grateful for that!!!  Have a great Monday, people!!!!!